resolution for 09'

i know..the whole pointless resolution thing..but im not coming up with my usual list of stuff that i always forget when the year ends...and probably have barely achieved...i put serious thought into this and came up with something...so here...my resolution for 09' : push the limits.

combination...

ok...so i think it'll be much easier if i write whatever i've been dying to write..so all the topics i included in the coming soon section...before i start off, i'd like to wish everyone a happy new year 09'!...as usual, i was thinking about resolutions and all that, then heard this segment on the radio...and realized that yeah, most of the time...our resolutions are pointless...'pointless resolutions'...and they had this 5 step guide on how you CAN achieve those resolutions of yours...and of course that included having a few resolutions...not that huge list ( i always have like 10 or so..so i guess i messed it up right there)...then theres the 'setting low goals, so that yes...its easier to achieve them...haha..so then i guess...you can say you've accomplished something...first thought that crosses my mind when i hear that : its cheating...if u set low goals, i dont see the point...cause none or less effort is needed...maybe 09' has made me wiser...haha...thats sorta ridiculous...seeing as how its only the 1st right now...ok so maybe, 08' made me a better person...it definetely was a roller coaster ride...all the tears shed, the laughter, the new beginnings and endings, feeling lost and somehow finding myself again...at the end of the year, someone asked me "do you have any regrets?"...i asked him why he asked me this...and he was saying hes just wondering...i said no...i mean some things got really messed up and of course i'd hope that i would have realized certain things a whole lot sooner, either way i got to where i am because of those choices and mistakes...and i learned from them...so i guess for that, im grateful...im thankful for all the realizations...like how i have nothing to prove to anyone...and should believe in myself...im also really grateful for all the people that came into my life this past year...so when people say ' a person that can change your life'...i believe them...im happy that i have all the people who are in my life...family, friends, my boyfriend...the people who never gave up on me and were always there when i needed it the most....as usual my xmas 08' was just a family affair...it was nice altogether...and new years was awesome...firework show, family and friends...and gosh, all the drama...not that im complaining...if i didnt have that, i have no idea where the inspiration would come from...the times i fell, felt vulnerable, eventually got it all together again...and the things i thought i'd never do in my life...i sing but barely in front of anyone..so those karaoke days...and the bowling days...were all so much fun :)...the gatherings, the outings ( movies, etc)....and the more drinking...the paranoia plus the embaressing stories...but nvm that, save me the torture...still gonna hear about that...my bf got me to do it...and of course, all the fear and stuff was stil there...till i realized it was all ok...the remembering of talking about loads of stuff....but when i think about it, i have no idea what it was...like really...then there are my insane dreams...classes start in a few days...moving back in the dorm...that should be interesting...my downgrade of a room...but im ready for it...i have no idea when this new found confidence and assurance came in, but im loving it...so have a blessed new years, cheers!

*coming soon*

--just being you
--the hols
--xmas
--new 'new years resolutions'
and many more..whatever that is in between...

how much can one miss?

its not about missing chances...or well it could be...i just thought of that...more of how much you can miss someone...till you cant even think about them, cause you miss them so much...and theres nothing you can do...you can talk all day or all night...yet feel you arent close enough...you just wanna be with the person so badly...i guess its ok to feel it at times...then you appreciate the person that much more...about chances, opportunities or whatever we may refer to them as....life is what you make it...sometimes you just have to go against all those fears...if you dont, you will never know of what could have been....just look at it this way :one chance to live, once chance to do all those things you've been dying to try, one wrong turn and u may not have that chance again...so maybe its about time you embrace each and every opportunity...do the best that you can...potential is there...have faith...faith is all we need...they say some people are destined for greatness or popularity...just how some people look at it...strive for what you want, learn from those mistakes and never give up!

i miss so many people...im thinking about all the experiences...truly...PRECIOUS

resolutions*

since its all coming to an end, the year i mean...its about time i straighten all that out...figure out what my resolutions are gonna be...and reflect...figure out if i achieved any of the resolutions i made this year...i tend to do this...make resolutions, yet have no idea what they are once the year ends...so this time, i want it to be different...i need to know what resolutions i made...and if i achieved any of them....

*resolutions for '09*

christmas cheer

im not even in it myself...or well not yet...comes across as stressful to me...i dont even know why...just so much to do in so little time...christmas pictures, parties, programs...all squeezed together in one week...yet my heart aches...nothing to do with xmas but it does...and then you tend to realize that some things will be like that - unbearable...was just thinking about how neglected the posts are...sometimes just cant get myself to write anything :(...besides the point..so back to the topic...xmas is in a week...i dont feel it just yet...tree is up, all the decorations..some gifts...yet somethings missing..and i have no idea what it is...part of my family is in the mood...wont mention who...i practically jump off my seat each time the phone rings...'jingle bells'...and its so loud...then the xmas jewelry...i dont even have any of that..so its odd...how different each member in the family can be..all about individuality...oh well...thinking about white christmases and stuff like that...at times i feel like i need all of that...but that pulls u so far away from the purpose of it all...it should be a little things that get it all together...makes it special...so yeah, i need to try to be happy about it all...cause its all happening so fast and before i know it, it'll be done...happy holidays!

how love messes with the mind...

It’s me laying here at night
Wanting to hold you tight
Needing to tell you what’s on my mind
Wishing you’d understand
Everything works even better with the touch of your hand
A thousand things cross my mind
All at exactly the same time
I wish you knew
How this time, my feelings grew and grew
Things now are so different
That way you make me feel
I may have made you a better man
But you’ve made me all that I possibly can
And for that I’ll be forever grateful
Grateful for the way you make me feel
The way you loved me, that way no one ever has
We may argue
Everyone does
Sometimes I feel that’s what makes us stronger
Almost falling apart, and picking up the pieces again and again
And yet I’m still trying
For the first time
I feel like I’m working for it
Striving to keep everything together
No pity, pure admiration not you falling at my feet
That’s not what I need
Maybe all along
This is what I needed
Someone to love me for me
To be there, hold me, protect me
Give me what I need
The sense of direction
Directing me towards greater things
And once again discovering life
Just as it is
Loving me, and not wanting to lose me
I’ve gained that, the confidence I needed
To be sure and handle things as they come
And know that you’re never letting go

'forgive and forget'

some things are just that - easier said than done...its easy to say u forgive someone...its a whole different thing to actually do it...we sometimes find ourselves saying those three words 'i forgive you'...just for the sake of doing it...u give urself that comfort...and it makes u look like a good person altogether...

a certain thing may happen to a friend, relative or well just someone so close to you..someone thats so close to your heart...and that person may forgive the wrong doer...(the person who experienced it)...yet u find yourself having a hard time forgiving...as easily as they did...maybe thats being overprotective...loving someone that much that u just cant stand someone hurting them...but if they've forgiven them and moved on, maybe u should too...no point in holding grudges...its better if u try to work things out and move on with life....

in other cases, someone u love may have done something so bad...u still love them...yet its that one thing they did that changes everything...u know u can never forget it...and in this case, u give up...u give up on that person...coz u cant bring urself to give them another chance...its how we get caught up in the moment...at times, a second chance is all they need....

so yeah, maybe all these posts come across as rather erm...emo or something...just what ive been thinking about..maybe the boredom is starting to get to me!

the curse

penelope...thats where the inspiration came from...this girl was ugly...in the eyes of everyone...she looked horrid...a pigs nose...she had to hide away...hide away from the world..just cause they couldnt accept her for who she is...they think that the curse will be broken once she marries a guy...but she didnt want a guy to marry her just coz he pitied her...she wanted a whole lot more....the thing that eventually breaks the curse....her loving herself...loving herself just the way she is...and not asking for anything more...i guess thats a pretty decent moral...accepting yourself for who you are..and not caring about what others think...it comes down to that...just YOU...i guess in the end...thats all that matters...just that we let our minds get so clustered...and sometimes u just feel like they matter more than you...so sometimes i guess all we need is to think about it...and give ourselves more credit...

" i love myself just the way i am"

regrets and hopes

it has taken awhile for me to update...kinda aware of that...barely use the computer nowadays...

regrets
everyone has them...sometimes its more of wondering what could have been...if u dont take that chance, u will never know the outcome...so maybe sometimes its ok to be turned down...at least u know it wouldnt have worked...instead of leaving it and never knowing...maybe thats the worst feeling...but some people prefer not knowing...mainly because they dont wanna feel that...they dont wanna feel the hurt...

hopes
sometimes we hope for alot...things that are way out of reach, doesnt stop us from hoping for the best...at times, its the best thing; or well all u have left...that tiny bit of hope...just that feeling of knowing that stuff could work out the way u want it to...

these hols....ive learnt alot...falling and picking myself up...thought about alot of stuff....and i realized i care and worry about stuff that shouldnt be worried about....all the intimidation...im just grateful i realized it - now is time for changes. caring about the important stuff and letting everything else fall in place.

it worked!

ive settled the problem, so glad...and thankful...i hope i remember this...how it almost ruined me, and how i got back up :)

picking up the pieces

alot has happened... and honestly, im finding it so hard to cope right now...i know the whole blogging thing is purely *writing your thoughts down and voicing out opinions, etc*...but i cant write all this down, too painful of a process...and i'll find it very humiliating...so maybe when i can look back on all this, laugh it off, then i shall pen my thoughts and feelings down because right now ; i just cant...i need to get through all of this...im so thankful to have all the wonderful and caring people who have been with me through this every step of the way...i wish i was strong enough to face the facts on my own...if u read this and are wondering what the big deal is, nvm...if u wanna help, keep me in your prayers...pray for my troubled soul and that i hopefully gain a clear sense of direction...i probably won't be writing for awhile, not until i get through everything...so till then, take care :)

every passing day

so today i watched twilight and madagascar 2...both were good..but i loved twilight...edward cullen is gorgeous...and of course credits for him being in Harry Potter..:)...i think id love it if my bf was that strong and stuff...and can fly and stuff...see the world from like 20 feet off the ground...almost like having a magic carpet ride ;)....then there was the fact that he kept insisting him and bella shouldnt be friends..she knew she was getting herself into alot, but she did it anyways...coz she loved him...and she trusted him...and them laying side by side and stuff...awww....he couldnt even kiss her at first...but could in the end...after she became a vampire too...i read the book..so yeah...liked it from the start...there are quite a few new movies out now...that ill probably be catching soon...to kill time...i enjoy the relaxing, but yeah...kinda wish i had a routine at times....so exhausted...gonna get to bed soon....

missing*

i know it has been awhile...once again id like to apologize...alot has been happening...didnt have internet for awhile...then laptop was at the shop...so didnt get to my mail or the blogging...

i celebrated by 18th recently...maybe thats the one age that makes u feel the difference..every other time when going up the 'age scale'...we dont feel it at all..just a day that u were born, party and everything feels the same...this one has an impact...or maybe it depends on the person....

so the title doesnt have anything to do with something missing...its abt 'missing' someone...or well many people..and those aspects that we once had....its just that feeling of not having the person around...seeing someone almost everyday and then not seeing them at all...:(...kinda emo but yeah...one reason why i wish i was at coll...the freedom, friends and bf time :)....ah well... bear with it for a month more...ive been watching sooooo many movies....some among the list of mine

: the accidental husband
: HSM
: quantum of solace
: fireflies in the garden
: sisterhood of the travelling pants 2
: pineapple express
: college
: definetely, maybe
: the house bunny
: good luck chuck
............and many more

the list goes on and on..so i shall not bore you...then theres the whole list of problems...issues that frens have among each other...im not involved...but its like...i am frens with both of them...so it feels like im always in the middle ; i absolutely hate it...ah well....at least i get to do what i love : read, music, internet, beach. swimming, etc...so its all going good for awhile...till next time (whenever that is...honestly have no idea when ill update next)....gonna go visit my fren for awhile...havent seen her in quite awhile...:)

P.H.A.T

pretty, hot and thick

inspiration from the movie...'phat girls'

maybe its one thing to be obese, and another to be curvy....i guess people should just learn to embrace themselves...ur own body image and shape...we look at magazines..and of course all we see are stick thin models...but people who crave to be the perfect size zero, may be really unhappy...they may suffer from eating disorders...unhappiness, anger...all because of the perception...the perception of what beautiful or perfect is..maybe its more of what u think perfection is..and the rest will just fall into place...and when u feel down...and tend to have a low self esteem...remember all the moments..and stuff that makes u feel good abt urself...all the good things...and eventually confidence just flows...inner and outter beauty...it may be the combination of both that makes it all the more worthwhile...learn to accept you for you...u can try to improve stuff but never try to be something ur not...i guess it isnt worth it, if u have to pretend to be something you're not just to get someone to take notice...when someone loves u for you..sincerely...thats when u've achieved it and probably have all that you could ever need....

money for love..OR...love for money??

finally have some inspiration...by how the blog has been, its pretty obvious that ive been having a hard time writing abt something..writers block? or just the pure laziness? idk...or the fact that i put myself into these situations and i tend to feel so uncomfortable that i just dont know what to do...nevermind that...the topic...

money buys everything...do u believe that? i never thought that it mattered as much; until recently...i mean...obvs fact that we know money buys material things, etc....is it able to buy other things? for instance...love? maybe, just maybe it does...many women chase after men for just that moolah and other stuff...but money still plays a major role...and some men go for women who have money..so that they can support them...and people tend to feel that when u have money, then u have the true happiness....that feeling u've been thriving for but never truly achieved....yet again...u could have all the money in the world and still be unhappy....why? after all we say that money can get you everything...but i guess u'll still face problems...maybe u will feel lonely, or have family problems...or other things that may affect you....so maybe it would work better if theres a balance...the thing is...we all thrive for more...u may have alot but u will never look at the fact that some people have a whole lot less....u look at those who have more...maybe thats a good thing...motivation...the thing that will get you to work for more...but that doesnt change the fact that we are greedy...

the last question to ask yourself is this : if you had a choice to choose between love or money...what would it be? money or life? ( this is what my friends used to ask me) a bit odd but yeah....i guess its all coming back to me =)

of being a couch potato

ok so yes, continuation to my whole laziness thing...i mean, its good to relax; after all the hassle...so ive been pretty glu-ed to the tv...watching series after series, movie after movie...even the stuff ive seen over and over again....must watches for this month are such as :-

-90210
-desperate housewives
-october road
-ANTM (cycle 11)
-the hills
-greys
-heroes
-the L word
-brothers and sisters
-gossip girl
-niptuck
-everbody hates chris
loads of shows that are bound to get u hooked...

and ive been reading alot too...books, mags...
-seventeen
-in style
-elle
-harpers bazaar
-vogue
-chasing harry winston ( took me awhile to get the meaning)
-twilight
-ps i love you
-if u could see me now
-theres no place like here
-the dutchess
-everyone worth knowing
-american girls about town

so yeah, this pretty much explains what ive been up to...during the hols..so far...its only been 6 days..so i have abt a month and a half to go....is going by pretty quickly but then again not fast enough...turning 18 in a week or so...so thats something...meeting up with friends...trying to hold everything together...i just feel like i should, while i can :)...todays my dads birthday, so that should be interesting..dinner...ive been impressed that stuff is going on well here...just my whole adaptation process...so used to being in AC 24/7....its just burning hot!!!!

updates

ill just admit it...laziness...the reason as to why i havent updated...been caught up as well...and thinking abt alot of stuff...i know recently ive been rambling abt how ive lost myself...today i realized that maybe i havent...i just pushed her away....steered myself away from the stuff i loved doing..so yeah, realization...i had a pretty hectic day...had like 4 hrs of sleep...church...lunch...hung out...slept..then went to subang....good dinner..and now im home...as usual im gonna be pulling an all nighter....everyone here sleeps so early...im the only one whos up past 12...its sad...i would write on a topic...need some inspiration...ahhhhh!!!!!!!

the sisterhood of the travelling pants 2

ok, so yes it is one of my 'chic lit' things..ive read all 4 books....and loved them...i have two best frens who are girls...not three...so yeah, at times i feel like we can relate...the whole being close thing only to know u fall apart once college starts...and then u realize that yeah, maybe the only thing that kept us together was school...the only conversational 'topic'...i think that was the case with one of my friends..the other can relate...coz we do open up and talk about other stuff..so back to the movie...its mainly abt how 4 girls can fit into one pair of pants, irrespective of their size....so they pass the pants on to each other...no matter where they are at...write a letter and attach it with the pants...n tell the person what they have been up to and what magic the pants have brought to them..n yes i like the whole romance thing..so yeah, they fall in love, out of it, and back in love once again....tibby gets a pregnancy scare...carmen has a baby brother (mom's 2nd marriage), bridget goes to camp and lena finds love....and eventually goes back to costos...n greece is so beautiful....( on my list :)....overall, was good...nice sequel....

back home...:)

im home...for 2 months..so confused abt what i should do 4 my 18th...upsetting thing is that i cant do something extreme...parents..so just something simple...i guess u still turn that age so it doesnt matter what u do right? but it has to be something memorable..idk...maybe just not worry abt it..i mean its gonna b my birthday, wouldnt be fun if im all stressed and worrying...i wanna do alot, promised alot of stuff...its just upsetting how u know u cant keep the promises....if u have any kind of suggestions, drop me a comment in the chat box...how u spent ur 18th, or how u would like to spend it...i so wanna bungee jump! :)...weird huh...n i wanted to go for a walk today...but its raining....:(..maybe later or another day...

packing :(

thats what im up to right now..funny how its the hols and i havent been updating...i think i do update more when im studying n stuff..haha...packing....just so much...think moms on the way...so then ill have some help...have this massive headache...i stuffed things everywhere...have to leave some stuff behind...my mag collections....arghhh....i want them....:'(.....ah well...if i dont have a choice, bye bye..i dont know if i always had this much stuff or if it multiplied over time....honestly i think i shop more when im at home but idk...im sad...i cant believe it...i mean, im coming back next year...im just gona miss the people...bf...friends...guards ;)...small talk...haha...n just the interesting people here...( not that they are all that remotely interesting, just the fact that some crazy stuff goes on here; thats what amuses me).....n my search for me...funny huh...but yeah, wanna figure alot of stuff out...we only have one life to live...so its abt time i make the most of it...so holiday resolutions...insane but yeah, hope it includes alot of discovering, my 18th, xmas, new years and then coll in jan09...i have quite a few plans already...so i guess thats a start...n im in a good mood....plus the headache...so maybe thats a good sign...no random bitchy-ness...haha...im always like that... its outta control....and in many ways...i wanna stop contradicting things i say......i better get back to my mess...

hols :)

today is officially the first day of break for me...i have 2 months...i mean, i should be excited n all but i dont feel it just yet...its just the fact that frens arent done yet...but ah well..soon enough...i feel like crap at this moment....what happened last night...yet again, i messed up....i can like remember how many times ive done it already...3 times in 3 weeks...just been feeling so off...n i dont think i should take it out on any1...but sumtimes its just so out of control and i really cant help it..so ive been thinking abt it alot...fear just makes me not be able to do alot of stuff....i just tend to overthink it...consequences...n ive realized im just so undetermined...decide this first, then turn around....honestly, i was just so tired...had like abt 4hrs of sleep...but once it all happend...i couldnt even fall asleep...i lay there...thnking abt it all...the whole feeling like u arent good enough...just the whole guilt trip....i guess its ok to want changes, but maybe it starts with appreciating what is already there....i really dont know...im feeling like all sorts of emotions...mixed feelings that even i cant express....im gonna try....i just wish that i could be a better person...and not let fear get the best of me....

un-trustworthiness

this happened for a long time already...it has nothing to do with me...but a friend of mine...she asked me if :-

*its possible for your heart to be with two people at the same time?

*isnt love supposed to be so pure that noone gets hurt?
(in my opinion, it does hurt)

*how can people be so selfless? being the third wheel in a relationship while being perfectly aware of the situation?

*what is love, natesa? what is love
(in her exact words)

i just felt so bad...coz she cant do anything abt it..maybe its just how its supposed to be, but doesnt that sound so wrong? its just really hard to be there and not being able to do anything i guess...and then the whole hes cheated once and said hes changed, yet it happend again...idk, some people just never learn...

what is love?

im just a thinker...and i cant help it...so i ponder upon things constantly...even without having to...you may be wondering, wht exactly am i going on abt?....i shall fill u in on that...its just the whole 'feeling like u know alot'...but not actually knowing it...i dont know....i guess deep down u do...just the fact that u have to share those opinions and u wonder what others will think abt it...and as usual, ive been questioning so many things...i miss the old me...alot...im trying to get that back...which makes me wonder, if i want something else does it mean that im not happy with what i have? the answer is : no...just that i wana be a whole lot more...and as grateful as i am...im not gna b alone...bf =)...n dont worry...not gna get all lovey dovey...but honestly, this is so different from previous relationships...we are more comfortable with each other i guess...and the previous bf's didnt make me open up and stuff...so maybe thats why im stuck at times....but im working on it...ok so enough on that...why im here...LOVE....strong word...

definition of love ( the way i would put it ) : the strongest emotion that can be felt..could be the best and worst feeling...can make u the strongest and yet make a turn and turn u into the most vulnerable...is something that we all strive for...everyone wants to experience 'true love'...or something close to it...just the feeling of being loved and understood places u above any other...

true love: do i believe in it? honestly, nope...its funny...being the whole romantic at heart...i dont believe in the whole love at first sight...its more of how u make urself feel...if u think its love at first sight...then thats what it will be...true love on the other hand...people feel like they can find that...but maybe its that ordinary relationship...that u work on...and becomes unbreakable..that bond...maybe thats true love...not the whole 'true love- i just know its right...by the feeling i get when im with that person'...isnt that attraction?

i guess im more into the whole first friends, then lovers concept...makes more sense i guess...know stuff abt the person first....and in this case, i guess u will still have that friendship if stuff doesnt work out coz u were friends from the start...take for granted that ur going out with this person..and stuff doesnt work out...u were never friends...do u think u'd have a close shot at frenship...if its a mutual thing, maybe....or if u are lucky and it does work...it will take alot of time i guess....

aspects: => attraction : the feeling of wanting to be with someone...
=> affection: it is identified with emotion...but both are two very different things...affection is more to actions...ways of showing your love and care for a person...
=>emotion: complex experiences...we express them through terms, gestures and attitudes..

having said this...love comes in all different forms...it could be love for your family, friends, other half, pets...or passion for a certain thing...but i guess altogether...it sums up that 4 letter word...its just all these little things that give the word meaning...and ive never thought abt things that way...but everyones perception of love is different...some people may go on and on...trying to search for a 'soul mate' or 'the one'....but others find it right away...so maybe its more of how u make it...how eventually u get so attached that u know u couldnt be happy with anyone else...and then u devote urself to just that one person...i thought about that...how will u know when that person is the one? are there hints...or do u just know? maybe its the whole combination of attachment, care, intimacy, bonds, etc...or maybe its just ur choice...i mean obvs it is...but maybe its what u make of it....

i keep hearing this song 'if i were a boy'....she talks about how if she were a guy, she'd be a better man...i mean...obviously u'd know how u'd want to be treated, but u cant expect them to read ur mind..no1 can..so maybe its more of that level of understanding...once u share how u feel and how u want to be treated, then maybe it would work out much better...i mean, we each want something we think we'd never get from our other half...and they too would want things from us girls...so its all fair...and maybe its vulnerability altogether...love makes u vulnerable...its so true...u tend to stoop...and u go so low...just to get that feeling...but is it worth putting urself so far down...getting stepped on...just for the sake of that one emotion? obvs not...but it just happens like that...u go blind...and trust so easily....just coz u wanna love and be loved in return...just goes to show how powerful it is...other people are just too fragile...break too easily...what happened to 'there are many fish in the sea'? i guess u just tend to feel so bad if it doesnt work out...rejection is a painful process and it takes time...all the avoidance that comes together with it...* at times like these, i guess all we can do is have faith and remain strong...and comfort food :)...but at the same time, u should be grateful...grateful that u had that chance to love and be loved...and the memories are what will stick with u...

so i guess overall, it varies from person to person...everyone will have different opinions and outlooks on love...so maybe we will never know the true meaning...then it would make us all very wrong...no doubt we have all felt it...doesnt matter from who or what...but we've all felt love..and maybe its a religious kinda thing...that faith u have...its more of what u devote urself to...but yeah...but im sure it has to do with emotions and appearances...we all deny the fact..and many say 'its whats on the inside that matters'....but this is rarely to be found true...but some people do do it...seeing every person as unique and stuff...and more to the sincerity....others care more abt emotions , etc...

'power of love'....just goes to show how strong it really is..and how everyone thrives for it...so yeah, maybe u'll eventually feel it...and know when its the right person...i dont know if i can call it soul searching...lets just stick to the word...L.O.V.E

finals...over! woohoo! :)

so im done...done with finals...this didnt exactly kick in as fast as i thought it would be...i was still in 'exam mode'...i thought i was the only one who felt like that...i mean after finals, one should just kick out of it..in one instant...but idk...maybe its the fact that this time around im the one who is done quite early while other people are still having papers..ah well...chic lit and movie marathons here i come! so this means, a 2 month break! i mean im happy n all....just thinking abt how im gna divide my time...and stuff that i have to do...which means that i'll be more relaxed...ahh...i wanna go to the beach..i shall..=)...soon enough...so for all of those who are still having exams, all the best! and to those who are done (like me)...happy hols...see all of u in 09'

deepavali 08

so this year my dads side of the family decided not to have the whole 'open house'....and instead go on a trip...they decided on melaka...from sunday till tuesday...i have finals this thursday...i only joined them on monday...overall it was fun...waterpark...experiences weird stuff, see weird people...be a 12 year old again...playing at the playground...somethings u'll never believe u'd do...then swimming...all the slides....we went up the family raft like 10 times....the walk up was longgggg....just the thrill u get from it....i cut my leg...while walking barefoot...stepped on this branch thing...this always happens...at the waterparks...so yeah...then we had dinner...and went to cowboy town...the place looks unbelievable...concept-themepark...well kinda...went for a 4D show...at times u really do feel like things are coming at you...it was funny coz i was with a cousin and my brother...my cousin was terrified...coz the seats go up and down....sideways and stuff...brother was trying to touch the things that were coming at him! then there are times that air gets blown at ur face...and u get sprayed by water! ...for real....then we watched this cowboy show...red indians...guys spitting flames...i think thats a major turn on...haha..u can feel the heat...seriously...then there was a parade...dances and stuff...guys dressed like girls...i found that quite disturbing though....in the end, fireworks...that made my night truly magical...was smiling...the end effect was spectacular...the house we stayed in was nice...whole family under one roof...i admit, it isnt always the best of ideas...and we dont always end up in nice places...but with the family...u just tend to have fun...either way....then just tv...hung around..cards...wine...n i was studying...timing just horrible! i had a hard time falling asleep...eventhough i was living on 4 hrs of sleep...coz we shared a room with dad and mom...dad was snoring so loudly...kept getting up at night....woke up to yummy breakfast...packed all my things...then we went to this ranch...they rode on horses and stuff...brother and i..go-karting...it was fun...went so fast....wind in the hair effects...we've planned a trip for new years...cant wait! hope its a beach :)

so much love with so little in return?

this has nothing to do with me...it was someones pm on msn...just made me think...in certain cases it is like that...u may give all the love u have only to realize u get a little in return....and u keep wondering why u arent loved back the same way...but is it really necessary??? why cant that little amount be enough? isnt it better for someone to feel something for you rather than nothing? i guess sometimes we just want it all...who wouldnt want it all? but at the same time..be gracious....grateful for everything u already have...of course its ok to want more...but just be satisfied with what u have for now...some people may not even have that.. and yeah, some people may have alot more...work for it or u'll eventually get there....but in a way...u'll realize u have everything once u appreciate every single thing u have...even the littlest ones...be thankful that ur living...and never miss opportunities....fear shouldnt get in the way...and try not to give up as easily...and accept the fact that things happen for a reason...there might be something better ahead...so keep moving forward.

finals!!!

finals in 4 days...just great...im really stressed...hoping to give it my all..i mean i had xcuses the 1st time...not anymore....urghhh...and deepavali is before it...my dads side celebrates..so i feel like i hav to please them all...ive changed my plans quite a few times...and ive been rather distracted...idk why...just weird....and ive been encountering weird things..some may know what im going on abt but yeah...maybe its the whole exams getting to me thing...history..is making me bored...so idk...i need all the luck i can get!

losing my patience and the biggest changes in my life

everyone has been testing my patience..well not everyone...alot of ppl...promising then breaking promises...i mean if u dont wanna, just say so...dont promise just coz u think ill b upset...then theres the whole next sem thing...loads of changes...shifting blocks...i was just out with a fren...n i told her...she was shocked...which makes me wonder...how much of i princess was i? until ppl doubt that i can rough it out..even abit? then theres the fact that 2morros the last day of classes...and im getting super emo...its weird when each sem u say bye to people coz its their last sem here....its sad...n ppl ill never see again...n ppl who have a long sem...will b here...but i wont...:(...i mean, i admit inti isnt everything..but we r still surviving...the whacky things we do...just keeps us going...n keeps us coming back..until we get seriously bored that is...so my fren and i...just felt nice to have quality girl time...just hang out...i miss all that...my best frens always move away...literally...not drifting apart...but like moving around the globe...it just kills me...but we all move on...so its fine :)....its just odd...the fact that i was the one planing to go away sooner...but everyone else is instead....funny how life plays it out...so yeah, my fren and i...sitting on the stairs...drinking coke, having chocs...yummy ;)...people might have thot we were drinking but ah well..laughing at the crazy things the couples were doing...and she sprayed this really stinky perfume on me...at a shop...still smells...ahhhhh....so yeah...i think thats all i have...ive had a pretty weird day...but thats for me to know...ill relate it to other stuff next time...til then...gonna entertain my frens online and text...this multi tasking stuff is sorta driving me nuts already! nite...:)

deep in thought

ok well...not really...but im always thinking abt something...been sick these past few days...sore eyes...every1 was pretty much avoiding me...i mean, they wouldnt wanna catch it..so dont blame them...just been feeling so neglected..and as usual...emotional breakdown last night...everything just seemed soooo wrong...so my eyes better...just tht the lenses r bugging me...so im half blind...will be for awhile...was planning to go for halloween night....now my fren backed down on her promises....so idk if im going or not...i know im getting rather emo...coz the seem is ending...i miss home...very much...just that when im home...i wont wanna be there...so its just like that..ill never be satisfied....maybe i should try being satisfied and then i will be...deep down i wished that people cared more....ahhh and the paranoia...i think the whole being only in the room thing kinda bugs me...plus the fact that ppl in the block itself are quite antisocial...the only ppl i know are my neighbours and a friend...so yea, u get the picture...i still feel like something is missing...i thought i didnt give myself time to think...i did... n it still feels like this...i wanna feel whole....

halloween night

halloween night is tomorrow...still wondering if i should go or not...trying to get opinions on how the last one was...we went to the 4th of july thing and that was a let down...so idk....considering it...i wanna see the whacky costumes (if there are any)...something to make fun of....hmmm..i thnk i have an evil mind...making fun of ppl? ;)...too bad i didnt have time to get a costume....ive been trying to go home...but still havent....so havent exactly been places to get things..ah well...i doubt many will come in costumes...so i dont really mind...but would have been interesting...i shall update once i decide...:)

being sick of it all...

honestly, i had an ok weekend...i mean, i wanted to go home...didnt...but my parents came up here to see me...so quality time....it was all good....problem is...on saturday itself my eye was slightly red...so i thought it was nothing...and i asked my mom if she noticed anythin...she said no...so then i figured it wasnt that bad...then yesterday its red and gets redder...and in the end started to hurt...so yeah i have sore eyes...:(....had to miss class...its the last week...i was actually looking 4ward to it all..and im hoping im ok by wednesday...halloween night! people told me to just go as a pirate...eye patch! ha...this makes me feel so heaty...the tempt is lowered but i still feel sooooo warm....i hope it gets better-SOON!!!!

odd weekends

no water at home...still no water...was planning on going home for a day...so much for that plan...mum calls me at 8am...who calls at 8am on a saturday? so well, she tells me that shes coming here to stay...or well...staying at a hotel...dads gonna go for meetings, mum is gonna hangout here...should be nice...ill get to eat something besides on campus food....she asks me to reload my brothers phone..then says to do hers as well...a cat was following me....was so annoying...i was praying it stopped following..n it kept coming...i think i was talking to it...coz people were looking at me...i figure right this moment...i seem like the most ridiculous person...so glad that most people wouldnt even care...weird days....i walk everywhere and as usual...INTI is dead on the weekends....ive never realized this...until last week...i mean obvs i know everyone goes home so theres barely any people here...but i only realized that the shops and stuff arent open only when i started to need stuff during the weekend....caf is closed apparently...was empty besides the couple hugging there....back to the cat...never realized i was that freaked out by them...i mean i always thought there was something odd abt them...i think i mainly cant stand their eyes...just something abt it...and the purring..and fur balls...yuck...ok im freaking myself out...its just a cat...i cant believe i could go on and on abt a cat...i guess i shall stop here...mum should be arriving soon...im so hungry...all im thinking abt is food!

making or breaking?

this post might mess u up...slightly...it did that 2 me...riding in a police car? enough said...and no i didnt do anythin bad...but yeah...sure seems like it...part of me is embaressed...im sure i'll be known as the girl who came back in the police car...and the other part is sorry...i feel bad for him...these are the times when u go...what if we werent? then this wouldnt have happened rite? i guess not...u cant look at stuff that way...coz if u do, its bound to have a longer lasting effect than u think...u will always feel like the world is after u..and that bad things are gonna keep on happening....things happen...at their own pace...ive learned that...u can hope and maybe even pray...but doesnt mean u get what u want...then theres love....i always relate stuff to it...whats the big deal...?? today i felt it...more than anything....i think that was the last piece of the puzzle...i knew he loved me....this was just something else....love + something....a feeling that not many can feel....so u may wonder...what on earth does the title have to do with this post? it means that certain things can either make or break the situation....u either love a little less...or much more...im still in a state of shock...it soooo feels like school days...but i guess we need stuff like this....so that people will learn from our mistakes...but nah....its not even that big a deal....just that im sooooo shocked....i was laying on the bed for awhle...thinking abt it....then realized...i can think abt it..but really..whats the point? maybe its these things that build u up...and make u that different person....its odd...but at this moment....i feel that my life is much more than COMPLETE....i have everything i want and need.....and MORE....

alone

hmm...everyones heading home for the weekend...so y aint i doin the same thing? i planned to go home this weekend...i didnt last week...call my mom...n shes like...oh there is some piping problem...we wont have water for a few days...just great...so im stuck here...yet again...i mean...why should i be upset? why should i not be? my frens are all going back...no1 2 hang out with....guess i shall just keep myself occupied with god knows what...im glad im done with the test though...whch means i can relax and study of course...i wanted to go to the beach....i really did.....sand....waves...hmmm....paradise :)....im a huge fan of beaches...u may have noticed that by now...i was super happy 2day...im rooming with a close friend of mine next semester...its gonna be awesome...whch reminds me...bday gift...not mine...but yeah....just great...stuck here n dunno where 2 get the gift from....so i shall think abt that....think abt subjects and just life in general...jan09 is gonna b great....i can already feel it! probably gonna earn some money during the break.....and then theres....the 18th! fabulosity ;)....many friends are trying to get me to drink...i wonder why.. those who have been following the blog have read abt my embaressing alcohol-associated stories....goes to show that im soooo not a drinker...besides the point...back to the complaining...the weekend...alone...my fren was thoughful though,...20 in 1...dvd...sure to keep me occupied....im soooo tired....just walked all the way from my block to the caf and then to R...how do ppl do that every single day? and in heels? i saw someone do that...so had to mention..my feet would practically throb...besides the point....i guess it doesnt really matter what i go on and on abt....coz u'll be getting alot of this during the weekend...if im still stuck here...i wana go home!!!!! :(

tests...

yet another one tomorrow...i got so annoyed..i studied and she comes and is like...how about all MCQ? who wouldnt be annoyed? but it still goes to good use...finals...different systems...neways...gonna get showered, do the online questions...the assgn and then rest...tiring days...as the semester is ending...i feel more tired...how odd is that...i miss home..dont know if i should go home this week...if i go back, i wont study...thats the only bad thing abt that idea....quite undecided....have to cut this short...shall entertain with topics once im done with the test! wish me luck ;)

fears

every1 has them right? so wats the big deal? i feel im more afraid than anythin right now...my long list of fears....maybe its better left unsaid...some things are...some people have general phobias...like the fear of being in small spaces...fear of spiders...fear of commitment....even the most ridiculous stuff....like-the fear of bathing...!!!!...insane rite? tell me abt it...maybe im just weak...cant handle much...n am just plain afraid...i wanna know me...like real badly...u may wonder...what the hell does that mean? afterall i am me...i just dont wanna be scared and just go for what i want...speak my mind...n not worry abt what others are gonna think abt that...loosen up...

having love and being in love....

so u may wonder..what is the difference? they are both forms of love....but no...maybe it does make a difference...having love means that u feel for the person but u arent deeply in love...being in love is just that...being in love...could u live with someone who has love for you? or does it just make u confused...??...answer is...either way its ok...if someone has love for u and ur ok with it, its good enough...people may say they have fallen in love with u...maybe its like the best feeling...but did u ever wonder what makes them love u? is it more physical stuff rather than emotions...??...so then...is it worthwhile if someone is in love with u just coz of looks or money? so maybe its ok if they have love but arent in love...if it makes u happy and makes ur world a better place: then u have the answer....

dead situations on sundays

u know how u can feel like coll may be so boring and utterly useless on the weekdays...try the weekends...how can it be possible for a coll to be dead on the weekends..?? maybe coz theres absolutely nothing to do...that people find no comfort except in going home...so yes, the place is quite deserted...im trying to wake ppl up to go out with me...no luck so far...n the rest of them are at home and wil only be back later...guess what im doing in the meantime? click five and chatting...to a younger male cousin abt swimsuits...haha...quite insane....just that bored that i would do anything...whch reminds me...im quite hungry already...so sick of coll food and no good food at al this week seeing as how i didnt go home...so just have to bear with it....n study history...ahhhh....test is on friday..i just find it quite impossible...coz the process is so long...n i have to study 5 chapters...but we only have 20 MCQ and 1 essay...so yea...makes u feel like...all that just for this...kinda odd....believe me...ive been thinking abt loads recently...my achieved happiness....my fears...the things i hav done in the past...not holding on...just that bored...believe me...n how there are so many people i have never gotten to know that well and they are already gone...n also how i over-think...i dont have to think abt it but i just do...n the boredom is making me do it more frequently...so yeah...wonderful sundays...gosh (full of sarcasm)

faith and believing...

faith?? ive been questioning so many things lately...just so unsure...like how do u believe when u have no proof? im not gna directly hint this out coz many ppl may nt like it and may not agree with my opinion...a lecturer of mine pointed this out...she said that students nowadays dont blieve in heaven and earth...we believe in heaven ON earth...how true is this? maybe it is more obvious than it was before...many ppl are raised up and these things are just instilled in them and they hav no opinion or no say abt it watsoever....maybe its better if u believe on ur own...but what do u do if its already like that? this really confuses me...been thinking abt it way too much...if u hav any opinions on faith and beliefs...leave a comment...=)

the weekends...

im kinda enjoying it...and why? coz im having fun lazing...no schedule...no1 bugging me 2 do this and that...i had an interesting convo with the family earlier...they all miss me...;)...haha...thats what i like to think...so yeah...a fren who said we'd hang out left me and went to PD...=)...ya well...cant blame her...i love beaches...u know how ironic certain things can get? hmmm....nvm....i woke up this morning...was lazy 2 get out of bed as usual...how many days a week can i just lay there and not be late for something? two i guess....n tuesday...was just thinking...and somehow tears were flowing...i dont know...not like i was sad....maybe it was tears of joy..never actually experienced that...god knows...always been so emo...i mean i cry for movies...occasionally...but honestly it takes alot for me to breakdown...i usually just bear with stuff and am ok with it all....=)...i think i should start studying history...5 chapters...duno how long thats gonna take...just an almighty long process if u wanna cover everything...so good luck to me...test is on friday...just that i feel i dont study as well on weekdays...what with other stuff goin on..and the fact that i get distracted and stuff.....so yeah, to be on the safe side....;)

if i were a boy

no this is not sum dumb thing...or abt me wishing i was a guy...coz honestly ive never wished for that...just that i heard this song...havent heard much from beyonce lately and this is her most recent single...remember how ciara had a one titled 'like a boy'....its talking abt the same stuff...obvious from the title i know...but just talks about how if she were 'the' guy...she would treat her woman better...care and know how certain things feel like...have a look for yourself...

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
and go Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me
If I were a boy I think that I’d understand how it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her cause I know how it hurts when you loose the one you wanted cause he’s taken you for granted and everything you had got destroyed! If I were a boy I would turn off my phone Tell everyone that its broken so they think that I was sleeping alone I’d put myself first and make the rules as I go cause I know that she’ll be faithful waiting for me to come home ( to come home) If I were a boy I think that I could understand how it feels to love a girl I swear I’d be a better man I’d listen to her Cause I know how it hurts when you loose the one you wanted cause he’s taken you for granted and everything you had got destroyed! It’s a little too late for you to come back Say its just a mistake Think I forgive you like that If you thought I would wait for you You thought wrong But your just a boy You don’t understand (and you don’t understand) How it feels to love a girl Someday you’ll wish you were a better man You don’t listen to her You don’t care how it hurts Until you lose the one you wanted Cause you taken her for granted And everything that you had got destroyed But your just a boy…

womanizer

britney is in for a comeback...im sure of that..and everyone seems to think so too...n no its not cause im a fan or anything...i admit she made some bad choices and was a mess...maybe its all coming together now...its kinda obvious who this song is directed to..so yea...the lyrics of the song...i found certain parts kinda interesting...(:

SuperstarWhere you from, how's it going?I know youGotta clue, what you're doing?You can play brand new to all the other chicks out hereBut I know what you are, what you are, babyLook at youGettin' more than just a re-upBaby, youGot all the puppets with their strings upFakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'emI know what you are, what you are, babyWomanizer(You, you)Boy, don't try to frontI know just what you are (x2)You got me goingYou're oh so charmingBut I can't do itYou WomanizerBoy, don't try to frontI know just what you are (x2)You say I'm crazyI got your crazyYour nothing but aWomanizerDaddy-OYou got the swagger of championsToo bad for youJust can't find the right companionI guess when you have one too many, makes it hardIt could be easy, who you are, that's just who you are babyLollipopMust mistake me as a suckerTo think that IWould be a victim not anotherSay it, play it how you wannaBut no way I'm ever gonna fall for you, never you, babyWomanizer(You, you)Boy, don't try to frontI know just what you are (x2)You got me goingYou're oh so charmingBut I can't do itYou WomanizerBoy, don't try to frontI know just what you are (x2)You say I'm crazyI got your crazyYour nothing but aWomanizerMaybe if we both lived in a different worldIt would be all good, and maybe I could be ya girlBut I can't 'cause we don'tWomanizer(You, you)Boy, don't try to frontI know just what you are (x2)You got me goingYou're oh so charmingBut I can't do itYou WomanizerBoy, don't try to frontI know just what you are (x2)You say I'm crazyI got your crazyYour nothing but aWomanizerBoy, don't try to frontI know just what you are (x2)Womanizer (oh)

debates~

so yeah..those who are my classmates are quite aware of this...debate fridays...today it wasnt just one...but two...so the whole two hours of being a spectator (:.....the first debate was really interesting but the second one failed to be compared...was real boring...its kinda weird...coz when this one guy got up to speak i swear the first thing that crossed my mind was "he sounds really gay"...so then i ask my friend next to me...n shes like...yeah agreed...;)...then on the other side there was this guy who thought he was being funny by directly pointing his sarcasm to his opponents...but we were laughing cause he was just that-ridiculous....then there were some who were lost in their points n stuff but wateva...its already done...next week is the last topic...and test 2...gosh...):....then there was this girl who sounded quite weird...smiling like mad...gee...repeating point after point was quite odd...then those who dont look their age..im not going there...haha...i didnt care for the second one mainly bcoz i couldnt understand what half of them were saying...n we realized they just kept repeating stuff and had no supporting points...half the time we were like 'uh...what did he say? what did she say? '...haha...weird..n its like u dont wanna be mean but isnt it kinda a fact if everyone notices the exact same thing...??...fridays...not going home this weekend..so shall see what i can get myself into while being here...;)...have a good weekend~

feeling lucky

haha...im pretty sure u had a different thought than what should be felt...im not meaning anythin big...lucky in the sense that ive been winning stuff...all the money spent on mags...comes to a good use =)

this is what i won...the first time i saw the advert. i thought...wow...i would love to own that...plus blue is my fav color...the bottle design is spectacular....so i tried my luck...wrote a slogan...n won it! =)

if u are unaware its jennifer lopez's deseo forever...this just helped me save RM265 ;)

a 4th jonas brother?

ok ok...i know ive already written something on the jonas brothers...i heard this awhle back n ws kinda suprised...theres a 4th jonas brother...hes nt in the group or anythin but yea...just thought how weird that would be...u think jonas brothers, u think slightly gay..or 4 sum people alot...people like my brother...bsides the point...teenage girls ( and some boys)...go gaga over them...dont ask me why...i like some of the songs only coz they are catchy...in some cases the high pitch range that they can reach can bug u...they are guys..u would never imagine a guy to be able to do that....then its their look...my cousin said they all look gay except nick...hello??...n nobody barely notices kevin yet they classify him as seeming gay as well...now how odd is that? they arent good looking...in my opinion of course...but theres just something abt the look....like joe jonas...theres something abt him...a certain awkwardness that keeps u looking...or well it kept me looking...;)

coming to the realization of things

ive been quite emo lately...or well for quite some time..not random mood swings or anything..just been worrying way too much...when there was nothing much to worry abt to begin with...maybe sometimes u just let things be...let go, things happen 4 a reason...n i guess its pretty much impossible to try and stop sumthin that is meant to happen all along...this is quite weird...hints as to when ur biological clock is messed up? when u sleep so little ( and deep down u love to sleep and require a huge amount of it...shhh!!! )....and u sleep at almost 1...and suddenly wake up at 3 smthn...i normally dont even get up for phone calls or msgs if im deep in sleep..but today i was already awake...so a fren texted...it was like...im normally cranky abt phone calls n stuff late in the night...or well technically morning...but i replied....n then it wasnt a dream...not one of those i dreamt abt something but have no idea what it was...but just random thoughts...i think thats what woke me up...i realized so many things...ive been searching for answers...answers as to my happiness thing n all that...n i thnk i hav all of them now...it feels good...honestly...then theres the whole im always hungry...no nothing happen...not preggers or anythin...just idk...n it happens like late at night...what is that abt??? so yeah, weird stuff...and ive been having fun teasing certain people with BIG words...hahahha...sorta mean but yeah...need some kind of entertainment....so yes...back to the point...questions have answers...my questions i mean...let go of the past...thriving for the future! =)...i hav class at 8am...n with the 3 hrs of sleep i had, the cup of coffee ( i seriously dont know how far thats gonna get me)....so wish me luck...i might sleep off...ive never slept off in class...almost but not jst there yet...so yeah...trying to stay awake...maybe i should get myself all hyper or smthn...hahahha....

inner peace

maybe ive reached that already...i talked about my problems...i admitted i wasnt happy...but why am i not happy? i have absolutely nothing 2 be sad abt...n then i was considering what could make me happy...n theres nothing that came to mind....but i say i feel empty...if i cant think of something thats missing then it means nothing is? idk...but im starting to feel so...maybe i just think i have something to be sad abt...at one point i was so happy...after exams n all that..maybe i had more time to care abt myself...but well...at that point i was certain n knew what i really really wanted...i thrived...so maybe stuff didnt turn out as xpected...but every1 has second chances...which made me wonder...is it worth it worrying abt things that shouldnt even be worried abt in the first place? i guess not...its just a waste of time and energy and u get urself more jumpy than u are...haha...so yes...maybe its clear now....n people can have everythin in the world n feel that something is missing...even the littlest thing can have the biggest effects on peoples lives....maybe im worried abt my family...that stuff doesnt go well...but no1's perfect afterall....so maybe u just look past all that n TRY to make things better...afterall they are still a part of ur life...then other things that bring happiness....singing? other things? love? whch made me wonder...till what extent would i go to be loved...i may be a sick romantic but i dont give in that easily...i dont trust..n when i let go...things dont exactly go well...maybe i let go too much....n am blinded by certain things...im thinking i understand stuff a whole lot better now..afterall...the past experiences and everything else still defines u...maybe it was once part of ur life..but u dont need to keep holding on to the past...let go..n strive forward....strive for the future...make it a better one

relatives...distant and near

seems like everyones related...or thats happening to me...first in school...ok they may be my second cousins but was so weird....the guy who was the same age as me was somehow afraid of me idk..was so weird...n i used to tease him abt it...but eventually he spoke up...then all of a sudden a classmate of mine spreads rumors...saying that im her cousin..so i was like ok...maybe its possible..asked my dad...he said nope..so weird incident #2...then when i get to college...my dad suddenly tells me...hey didnt u know that ur cousin is at the same coll? it was weird as usual...hearing that...but i just asked who...he was trying to explain...but of course i had no idea..one day they come to visit...then my gpa calls me, asks if i know this gurl...i say no...so thats the one...n till now i cant recognize her...this is what happens when relatives get married...makes the family tree so complex...u might not even know who u are related to...then al of a sudden u find out...so never be too suprised i guess...quite predictable...i just find this amusing...why would someone marry their relatives? they are practically family...even if u dont know them theres stil a tie rite? then theres the whole arranged marriage thing...i dont buy that...at all...i feel that its so odd to marry someone u dont know...how do people do that? i could comment more...but it may be quite insulting...;)....haha

sick days

yes ive noticed that recently the titles have been associated to the word 'sick' or 'day'...haha...sorry...just kinda the current mood and too lazy to actually think of stuff! i admitted it, laziness! been sick...fevering n stuff...it really sucks...one minute im freezing cold the next im burning hot...n have like alot on my mind...choices have to be made...hostel arrangements...i hav someone to room with me....but means i hav to change blocks...at first i thought i was ok with that..then realized i may regret the choice so idk...no idea wat i should do...2morro is the last day if i wanna book the same room so yeah...makes things a whole lot more stressful...gonna head out soon...maybe need some fresh air?

sick romantic

me...thats what i am..in love with love..kinda funy dont u think...yet i think its so true...2008 song that describes me...leona lewis-bleeding love...amazing rite? took this quiz thing n thats what i got..which makes u go...just how predictable am i? i had an interesting day but am real sick right now...fevering....just great...class at 8am 2morro...=(...so gotta hit the bed soon...dizzy!!! is it a big deal? if ur that obvious to certain people...idk...all i know is...i want or better said...i NEED some excitement...;)...sunday nights...neways...back to love...when its right its amazing...heard this quote on 'my sassy girl'...that is like a real good romantic comedy..something abt i dont deserve u..and how destiny is what brings two people together...i didnt tear for that movie...PS i love u...i did....a bit...coz it was sad...how vulnerable she was when she lost her husband....but i realized that...the key to pulling urself up...is...believing...believing that it happened for a reason and there may be something better in store..so turn that frown upside down! chin up..=)

bad day

well it started out ok..i slept at 2am...got up at 6...my mom turned my room light on at 6 which got on my nerves...had my cousins confirmation...the sermon n overall went well...then the brunch...food was spicy but i managed...ate watever wasnt..haha...so then i got back at college at 1...cleaned the room....unpacked...came online 4 awhle...then slept...1 hr...dad called...tried 2 go back to sleep, started pouring...i have like this severe headache..head is literally spinning! typing is out...i keep typing the wrong words..n this agitates me as well..back to coll..ok im already AT coll..so back to classes...my monday 8 am...suckish food..but what choice do i have? so then i thought maybe i was hungry, but i didnt feel it...but just ate something...that hasnt helped...still feel dizzy...gosh...dunno wat else 2 do...i doubt i need fresh air...was out half the day...=(...pain is just too much...so 2day i received some compliments...ahha...things i didnt xpect but yeah...then there was so much pregnancy talk...a fear...not gona get in to that...things sorta change after a whle..thinking in that manner...i miss my bed!! haha...im sure coming up with loads of random thoughts...i had a nice week with the queen sized bed, now back to a single...maybe thats y i couldnt sleep! doubt it tho...i seem to have this problem relaxing here...i cant just sleep and not wake up in between...so then i come online...n i get paranoid...feel like somethings abt me but idk...i just shouldnt worry..as it is im dizzy..making situations a whole lot worse...so basically im back at college..i have abt 3 weeks left till finals...then theres the deepavali break...going on a trip to malacca....the whole family..and when i mean whole family, it includes aunt, uncle, cousins, gparents, etc...this is gonna b fun...humiliating people..and putting them in awkward positions...then its the long break...2 months...my 18th...probably gonna get a job..i dont seem 2 b getting everything i want..so maybe time to earn it...plus...id b dead bored as usual..barely anythin to do...bsides bothering frens, beach, swimming n stuff like that...ok...i would like to write more and better yet elaborate on a topic but my head is killing me!!!

thinkers and do-ers

i think i spotted an article on just this before...like how thinkers and doers attract each other, etc...thinkers are like me...think all the time n worry for no apparent reason...u can not worry but u just tend 2 without the realization of doing it! do-ers are those who do stuff...get caught up in the moment...they tend to feel that actions speak louder than words...so yeah....but in this case, they might not care as much as they should...so that may be where the problem lies...as usual, im still the sick romantic that i am deep down..listening to the sex and the city soundtrack...its awesome...like every other word is LOVE...just the way i like it...;)...is it ok to be this obsessed with love? i seriously have no idea...then today this just popped into mind...would i really let a guy make me that vulnerable again? i mean, truthfully i was never one to really care abt all that...if it didnt work, it didnt work...but recent experiences hav proved otherwise...fell so hard...took awhile to pick myself up...but i did...so its ok....then i was wondering as to why it took so much longer...n i got the answer...(flashing lightbulb)...haha...so ok...i know what the reason is...of all the guys...i have reasons to forget them...n this helps me get over them much faster...for example...the guy could have been a jerk, cheated or done something that made me care less...and even if it didnt work out and the guy dumped me, or if it was mutual...i was mad at him...4 watever reason it was...n this time...i may have been upset...but i didnt get mad...was stil holding on to watever hope i still had...but yeah, if its not meant to be, then its just that...not meant to be...so i was watching alot of tv today...one of the shows were breaking up with shannen doherty...sure u have heard of it..so its like u hav probs breaking up with someone...and she helps u out..so it came to a point where this girl was confused abt her sexuality...she thought she liked girls...so shannen slowly hinted this to the guy...he was cool abt it all...he let go...he was with her whenever she needed him...and after a few weeks...she realized she was in love with this guy...and nothing would make her happier..so she wanted him back....n he took her back with an open heart...goes to show that u can be confused abt many things...in the end, u'l get an answer if u try looking for it...whch made me think of the stuff im confused of...faith...believing in certain things....dont know if im good enough in certain cases ( common )...then theres choices...wondering what choices to make n wondering of the choices u HAVE made are the best...whch reminds me...i thought one week would go by pretty slowly..with my lack of hol plans..loads of drama with frens...home...but it flew by...did some interesting things...experienced some interesting things....n its fridays...the weekend...then back to college...mug for finals...OMG...back to reading textbooks...ive been reading alot of external material...books, mags....=)

self advertising

it seems like everyone does it nowadays..so maybe if u didnt blieve this before, u probably do now...sex sells...without a doubt...sum ppl feel like they have to show skin in order to be sexy...but thats so wrong...showing TOO much can appear as slutty...so how do u explain that then? its more of how u feel...u can be all covered but feel sexy...and posted gazillion pics of urself may make u feel beautiful...but does it really? does it matter how people see you? they can feel ur perfect; but are u happy? thts the tricky part...every1 can say good stuff but u may still feel like crap deep down...so its more of an inner peace thing...body peace...how u make urself feel, how u feel; before taking into consideration of what others think...so its ok to have pictures, to keep family updated, but if its for other purposes then maybe u should think abt it...ahhh which reminds me..

self-image
is it important to be stick thin? does it appear as more beautiful? media gets younger girls these days to feel that it is so...but in the process they starve, diet, exercise...over exert their bodies and end up getting sick in the process...so maybe its ok if u arent what people would consider as the perfect size (0)....but once ur comfortable in ur own skin...then u have achieved that perfect size...not to say dont exercise n stuff...but just...do it for the right purposes...if its for fitness...green light =)

this is me

this is me...all that i am...all that ill ever be..ok minus the last part...coz the future is still undetermined...;) i guess its time to show ppl who i am...n stop being afraid to do so...singing is one thing...cant really say how i feel abt that...but it did make me real happy...n i won stuff...so thats kinda cool...whch reminds me...i miss chinese...speaking, writing, reading...i mean theres ppl i speak to in the language but nt as often as i did in secondary school..so yeah...n then, i realized that i want a hug...haha...random thought...k la..not just that...plus i realized i rarely get affectionate...with frens i mean...bf's ok...i dont hug my frens...i just dont get into the whole body contact stuff i guess...except some..so thats kinda weird..so i was wondering as to why it is so...n couldnt come up with a rational explanation...i mean its just a hug rite? its comforting...if even me...( kinda strong and rarely fall apart, in front of ppl anyways)....need a hug every now and then...why cant i do it for ppl casually? and then i realized that theres this certain person in my life who i havent let go of...i can say i have...but when i asked myself...i realized i havent...proof...if u say uve forgetten someone..maybe its true coz u stopped thinking abt them n stuff...but if ur thinking abt forgetting, doesnt that mean that u havent forgotten abt them ? -coz ur still thinking abt them? so yeah, i wish i could let go...i thot i did...but if i think abt forgetting that person, it clearly means i havent coz im thinking abt forgetting...so what do i do from there on? at times i feel so lost...wish i had direction...at one point i did...maybe things are suposed to be like this...u cant be sure of everything rite? there are things u have to figure out on ur own...no matter how long it takes....so maybe not all things are that predictable...life certainly isnt...take it in, day by day..no matter how hard it may be!

hari raya

hmmm...yet another holiday...lately just havent been in the mood 4 anything...n am awfully tired right now, but i had a good day...raya is mainly abt visiting, food and more food! ...wish i travelled but ah well...wait 4 deepavali..family trip..will keep u posted on that ;)....so yeah, went shopping today..didnt really have any1 2 visit...my frens are outta town so no point...teacher is in saudi arabia..so just stuck here at home...bsides going to the cities of course! amazing how everyone LOVES to shop...and i mean it..is it just malaysia? i doubt it...people tend to go insane at the word 'SALE'...or better yet 'MEGA SALE'....of course im not an exeption but yeah...been hooked on reading..i mean i love reading dont get me wrong, but lately i havent had the time...my reading has been my history textbook! but i actually like the subject...i jst did it coz i thought i should knw the stuff, but ended up liking it..so all the better...=)...and i have problems re-reading books...it could be from many years ago...but i just need suprises ( i like the suspense! )....really get hooked on books sometimes...then there are my mags...not gonna go there...i have like a collection..everything from celebrity, fashion and even beauty....trying to get myself to read something more informational...but just tend to go 4 the ones that catch my eye! ;)...n ive been pretty lucky..winning stuff...i mean really...so then my dad tried me at gambling (testing my luck)...but nvm..just weird altogether....i had apple ice cream...i was curious on how it would taste...it was actualy really good...thinking of my 18th...just dont know what i wanna do...maybe the beach coz thats what i like...=)...ah well...heading 4 dinner...no raya food...mayb go visiting 2morro...;)

preferences...???

ok so i was watching tv...ok maybe ive been watching way too much of it...cant blame me...i live without at coll...thx to the whole....tv isnt working n we arent the ones who are in charge...but watever...thts bsides the point...so jim complained tht cheryl talked too much...always wanted to know what he felt or whats on his mind...( according to jim, btw )...so at first he liked it...the whole peace n quiet...so she dcided to get on his nerves...so she decided not to talk 2 him at all anymore...and without a doubt that drove him off the wall...eventually..n he realized its ok for someone to care abt u...even if its way too much...but the feeling is nice...so then everythin was cool again...so this made me wonder...are the ladies always the ones who tend to blab? even the quietest ones? maybe its just like that...its rare that there will b a guy whos always askin what u feel or whats on ur mind...no1 reads minds..so in most cases u tell them how u feel, but yet; u ask how they feel as well..thats just how it goes...this means that they like to be cared abt too just not like how u treat ur gf's...not the constant pesturing, emo stuff...but just sensible caring...yet again...(my opinion of course! ;)

shoe wheel

i thought this was an interesting invention...i saw it in malaysia...so yeah, kinda cool...do u agree? i mean, im not saying it coz there are like so many pairs of shoes n stuff...or coz i like shoes...but its interesting...creative idea dont u think?

runaway love

tiltle of a song...MJB and ludacris....the video really got to me...coz it was abt children facing problems n stuff...a girl with her mom whos on drugs...bring guys home..n the guys molest her...and she wants to runaway and never come back...then theres a girl who goes out with an older guy...he gets her pregnant...so then she doesnt know what 2 do...she cant raise a child as shes so young and has no money for abortion...its funny how we look past all these things...its like...u'll never know what people are going thru...till u truly know them...even then, u may not...we tend to feel pressured into doing things we dont have to...its ur choice after all...its just the fact that others are doing it that makes u wanna feel it...and at the time u will feel like u have to and theres no way out..so do it if ur sure its what u want...or else wait...its worth the wait...cause if u do something ur unsure of, u'll regret it...but in a way, if u dont try u'll never know rite? some people believe that rules are meant to be broken...just goes to show that our main issue is...curiosity...

women with muscles

just saw it on tv yet again..so made me wonder...do guys like ladies with muscles? all i know is it'd b super weird if the guy had none but the lady did...it would be as though she was the man...and he might feel inferior i guess....anyhow, i guess its ok to work out n stuff...but theres stil a limit..coz like when u've worked out too much u tend to get too buffed...and women showing off their shoulders but revealing very muscular arms is def not sexy...so yeah, this is what i mean...look at SJP....i mean not looks...but the arms...sorta freaks me out...haha...n its way weird how im riting abt ladies...but nah, just a random thought so yeah...bear with me...

the biggest decisions in life

what r the biggest decisions one will have to make in life? r they the ones abt choosing ur life partner, college, job or place u stay? i dont know...maybe the biggest ones are those that if u realize u've made the wrong choice, u tend to regret it altogether...and can never seem to forget them....maybe its one of the thngs listed above.. a job u took...when ur at the peak of ur career u turn down a great offer? but why? did u hope for somethng better than us....maybe greed is a factor...we strive n thrive for more...u may not b materialistic...but u stil want more than u have (currently) right? take time to think abt this...think long n hard ;)

18

18? thats the age im turning this year...so what do i do on my big day? before this, i had huge hopes...but its like when it draws near u tend to get slightly confused....legal age...sounds like a huge thing...or well an accomplishment in ways...but yeah....its the time u officially feel like an adult...i mean coll is a huge step in the whole independence scene...but yeah...18 is a legal thing...it just happens...n maybe it will make u wiser...i mean...bdays before, u tend to think being a year older means that...maybe this does it...actually makes a difference in your life, just maybe...its something to look 4ward 2 if so...so maybe a party, or a small get together, or clubbing..watever it is..age might make all the difference! ;)

the awkward moments that define life..

not talking abt mine...just everyones...my dad literaly jumped (missing one step on stairs! ;)...but yeah, was funny..he sang too...then the times when u feel they know something...i feel like they think ive been doing things i shouldnt hv been doing....then there was thing song abt ice cream and lollipops..ahem...n he felt so awkward coz the whole family was there...so yeah, my driving, new hair cut...holiday pretty much planned out...brother has pmr..so hav to teach him....i love math but hate calculus..so its the right duty...maybe go jogging...hang out...shopping...read and laze...haha...PS i love you...thts what im curently reading...=)

relationship status quos

ive just realized that many people have perceptions of how things will be once they are in coll..as usual...we are deceived..we always xpect 4 ourselves to enjoy n it being much better than current situations...but once it happens...then u go, what was the biggie? just like....birthdays...we go around thinking tht a year older means a year wiser n that it will feel different...but really..does it? bsides gift, extravagent parties, nope..we dont..its the same...just another passing day...so yeah, some may leave loved ones behind..once they are heading 2 coll....nt talking abt fam mems n stf...im talking abt relationship partners...after all, college should have a wide variety of ppl rite? i mean, what could go wrong...??? only when ur there tht u realize ( what u had...u should of kept it)....maybe regrets? but whats the point anyways? days go by in a blink of an eye, so y hesitate? move on? in many cases, things are better said than done...this is one of them....forgetting someone u loved, letting go, is one of the hardest thngs...its that feeling of love, n being love that makes it all the more harder....

random day

thnk im in a much better mood...i should be...since im done with exams...next week is raya hol, kinda happy...feel exhausted! ha! ya well...prob just hang out with frens, eat, family, shop ;)....cant get enough of shopping...but well, college makes u realize u NEED more stuff...clothes etc...it almost becomes a necessity...ah which makes me think of our uniform days...ahhh..those were the times...i can say i absolutely hated uniforms...the fact that ....ok secondary uniform...the pinafore...holes on the sides....hmmm...very uncomfotable...then they make u wear a tie! it looked horrible...so now its like...ur responsible for how u look...its all u...u can make a statemnt..sum ppl stray away...lay low....hide away...or are too afraid to take risks...are u this person??? let ur dressing or fashion sense define you...(it works, or so im told ;)

woohoo!!!!!!

done with mid terms..it went ok..im shocked..so now..back to the worry free life..erm ok...my life is never worry free..coz i tend to worry even abt the littlest things so yeah...;)...isnt a good thing...i need some relaxation techniques...but well, now i hav 2 make serious decisions...like....the coll i wanna transfer to in the US....its complicated coz i want something but the parents feel otherwise.... ( i rote sum other stuff but internet connection logged me off, so this is whats left)

post later! =)

stressed out!!!!

ahhhhhh...so stressed out...mid terms later...was supposed 2 be at 6 but was made earlier..so 5-7....cant wait 2 be done with it! short sem seriously sucks...who would have known what we thot would be so laid back tended to be otherwise? well, in clas they were trying to ask the lect if we could post pone the test...n of course...she said...NO!!!!...haha...yeah well..have to live with the truth sometimes...its today..even if u arent ready...u stil have to go thru with it...procrastination gets u nowhere! so learn from those mistakes...laziness...so until 7...ill be studying n well sitting 4 the test altogether...then i shall treat myself to something...treat myself, gosh! so wish there was a guy...haha...but nah, by the looks of things im better off single..what with my plan of getting a transfer as soon as possible..so unless the guy is going in the same direction, i doubt ill make stuff complicated....u know how u may feel like colls in msia are all positive not much negativity like in the US etc...but ur sooooo wrong...alot goes on and it bugs me...its like...nilai??? msia??? so yeah, in a state of shock coz of it all...study week is next week...combined with raya hols...im waiting 4 the long break...18th bday! legal age...still debating if i wanna do anythin big...the reason ive been putting off alcohol ( afraid too many secrets will be revealed...so does that mean i hav too many? )....even wine gets me tipsy...but what do u expect from an amateur drinker? ;)..so many the body does need some kind of exposure...n instead of lazing 4 the hols...gonna put the time to good use...i know like how i couldnt wait 4 spm to be over...long break, etc...but it DOES come to a point where ur like...what day is it? wat did i do yesterday?? so maybe just a short break...stay in the cities, get a job, make some moolah! ;)

late nights, exams!

mid terms 2morro...history....ive been cooped up for 13 hrs....didnt go out this whole day...nt even for food....managed with what little groceries i have..so ill have to get supplies after class...constant studying makes u awfully hungry! hope all goes well...this better pay off! ;)...right now im listening to this song by TI...watever u like...n one block radius u got me...awsome song...listen to it....=) brain hurts, if thts even possible...ahhhhh...cant wait 2 get it over with...

the jonas brothers

many people have different opinions on the jonas brothers...some may be related to their music, while others are abt their looks, etc...as we are all aware of...the group consists of kevin, joe and nick jonas...kevin gets the least bit of attention...(they say is the least good looking)...heres a pic for those who dont know who these guys are but i seriously doubt it...

they've had many succesful singles and album...songs which have a catchy beat include, SOS, burnin' up.....

point of views ( not mine )

a) they look gay

b) music sounds fake

so yeah, its up 2 u...u may have ur own opinion...

a few celebrity linkings..

joe jonas with jojo

joe jonas with taylor swift (current)

nick jonas with miley cyrus

so what abt kevin??? it is obvs. he doesnt get much credit except for being in the band and making it a threesome...its like hes in joe and nick's shadow...is this right???

the way people are...

i thought id blog abt this coz this is whats on my mind right now....why do sum ppl have 2 act like such an ass? like a close fren could make u feel so bad when u already were feeling bad in the first place? is it your fault for nt telling or is it theirs for nt taking a hint? some people do things like this...just to please themselves...coz without it, they just arent happy....in other instances, it shows how insecure certain ppl are...this is college life...reality...some ppl may care alot and others may not even give u a chance...but doesnt matter...stay true to yourself...n this is the time when u learn to differentiate right and wrong...choose frens...know which frens are good ones and which arent..and u tend 2 only realize the faults when ur real close 2 them...and this makes u wonder...should i let go? is it right to turn your back on someone who was once ur closest pal? but is it ok for someone to treat you badly even when at times they are just kidding? but u still feel the twinge..so isnt it just as bad? a million question marks are going through my head...i wish i had an answer...i wish i could talk to someone abt this...but yet its 'the person who made you cry the one who can make things alright'...so yeah, its complicated....so a briefing on the weekend...cousins bday...drama at home...wanted to post pics and continue on some topics but the connection sucks and i have to study 4 mid-terms!

people come, people go...

so my fren left to russia..was upset...but life still goes on...ur life is what u make it...so i guess i cant hold on to something tht isnt in grasp any longer...she was one of my best frens..so yeah, it was hard...but shes gone to pursue her dreams...n ill be doing the same soon,...just funny how u can be the one who planned 2 go overseas first but every1 who didnt just leaves first? haha...i find that really odd...its like...what are the odds? gonna miss her but i guess we'll make up for it when she comes for break...but we will never know what will happen when...so wherever time takes us...we'll be ok...ive been feelin pretty sick this past few days...no idea why...probably just the weather...haha...neways...back to the topic...people come into ur life and they eventually leave...just the circle of life...just dont hate them 4 leaving...but be grateful for the time and chance u had to spend with them...coz in the end, all u have are the memories!

life's little suprises!

OMG...OMG...i cant believe this...my aunt was preggers...her youngest child is 16..so im kinda shocked...had a miscarriage...just these little things u miss coz u arent near by..aunts in the US so yeah...found out over FB! lucky 4 Fb coz it actually keeps u updated n stuff....but im shocked...just goes 2 show that anythin can happen n life will suprise you..with these kinda things...im so not focused...so upset i just dont know what 2 do...i had a few topics...but will post pone...as usual...like how i say ill continue n stuff but never do...will get to that...soon enough...i hope...seriously doubt so many things right now...i hv 2 admit, just this one time...im really sick of love...i am...it makes u feel great (dont get me wrong)...but what do u do when u dont have that special sum1.?? i dont know...u just try n make urself happy with frens n stuff...but the emptiness is still there....but these are the ppl who are always there for you...frens i mean...they'd do anythin...so till u settle down...this is what u rely on i gues....doesnt help the whole emptiness feelin...but yeah..good enuf...4 the time being..i feel like im goin in circles...ah well, guess this tends 2 happen when ur emo...just so much on my mind...goin 4 a walk later so hopefully that helps...goin to the airport 2morro...send my fren off...i hope i dont cry...will make it so much harder...but guess this is what i hav to do if i dont wanna regret it...if i dont go, il always be wondering...so yeah, guess thats the right thing to do...will get back to this later....have to go revise history!

moods...

quite upset now..my fren is leaving...n maybe all of those who told me id feel it were right...i do...it feels terrible....ahhhh...hope 2 get out of this soon...=(...i feel so confused...mixed feelings...

like only a woman can

i have to admit im not a huge fan of brian mcfadden..so wel...hes an ex mem of westlife..was married...then started dating delta goodrem...now i dont know whats goin on there...but nothing from him for awhile..but...when i heard this song...my heart melted..;)

I wasn’t perfectI’ve done a lot of stupid thingsI’m still no angelI wasn’t looking for forgivenessWasn’t laid out by my prideShocked by her attentionAnd someone signed me up for loveI didn’t want itAnd now I can’t live without itShe changed my lifeShe cleaned me upShe found my heartLike only a woman canShe pulls me upWhen she knows I’m sadShe knows her manLike only a woman canShe’s kind of perfectShe’s kind of everything I’m notYeah, she’s an angelAnd it’s amazing how she’s patientEven more at times I’m notShe’s my conscienceAnd who decided I’d be hersI wanna hate themCos now I can’t live without herShe changed my lifeShe cleaned me upShe found my heartLike only a woman canShe pulls me upWhen she knows I’m sadShe knows her manLike only a woman canLike only a woman canAnd who decided I’d be hersI wanna hate themCos now I can’t live without herOh, and she changed my lifeShe cleaned me upShe found my heartLike only a woman canShe pulls me upWhen she knows I’m sadShe knows her manLike only a woman can

britney

i used to be a die hard britney fan...so yeah, thot this was interesting..where do u think she was spotted dressed like this?

september 11th

just got me thinking...pray and remember those who were lost on this day...

maybe can have some relation to my debate topic!

tests!

im so stressed...test 2morro...n yea history...so haha...just loads 2 read! short sem makes it so hard..like no time to do anythin..all u do is class, test, debates, presentations and assgns! so yeah, stressful...right now just listening 2 songs...had a weird convo with the family...i miss home...its like while im at home..i wish i was sum place else...but still, theres no place like home! =)...it can be horrible...but its stil home...get the point? haha...i made someone so mad at me...unintentionally but still feel bad..lately just havent been myself...n i have to admit that...in some cases, i feel like i come 2nd, or im misunderstood or that ppl do stupid things just coz u approve of one! its annoying..bsides this all is well...had a fun day in KL...had good dinner...jst tht i feel at times my metabolism rate is going high n been feeling sick....so yeah...its odd...my frens off 2 russia next week...its sad...=(..ah well, ppl come n go...frens come n go...haha...tht sounded wrong...just thot id say it coz it came 2 mind...2morro's friday!!! after test, weekend...didnt intend to go back but gonna coz i have to go see my fren before shes off 2 russia...so just gona spend some time with her...have fun for one last time...OMG...this is putting me in an even more odd position....better go...internet connection sucks...and better start hitting the books!!! TEST!!! andre 3000 and john legend...greenlight...cool song...=)

life as we know it...

im so tired..so this will be short...i realize how unfortunate some ppl are...maybe its just the circle of life..some ppl are less fortunate than the others? is that fair? n we seem 2 put ourselves below others...is that right? should we be helping those who arent as lucky as we are? some may say, NO...coz they didnt work for it so serves them right..but maybe we are supposed to...but no1 will ever knw what they are suppose 2 do...unless u hav this instinct or smthn...so neways...what got me to think abt this is like when i took the ktm to mid v...then on the way to the mall...there was this guy on the side walk...he had clearly been abused...it was sad...=(...n he was just there...every1 walked past him...n on the way out...it was raining and he was still there...are humans really this cruel? till we have no feelings for the rest of mankind? i feel so sick right now..so gna stop riting 4 now...will get bk 2 it later of i hav anythin else 2 add...till then ill be dizzy and trying 2 get my history assgn done!

a day in the city..=)

as u can tell by the title..yeah, heading to KL in abt an hour...pretty odd morning so far..mainly coz i was so tired and dazed...and didnt read the notes..so got asked n was rather lost...still hav this tinge of guilt..OMG! then she said she wanted to see me ( the lect)...they cant wanna see u jst coz u forgot to read the notes right? hopefully it isnt abt tht...but right now im just being way too paranoid...ahhh...typical me...prob gonna have loads of fun 2day..so just gna 4get abt tht till she actually asks to see me...so then ill find out...but have no idea what it could be...yesterday i had a quite awkward xperience...walkin suddenly this guy comes and asks...'arent u my girl?'...i was like 'what?!!!'...dunno if he was drunk or what...but ah well...goes to show that yes inti students are pretty much going insane..neways...gonna get to my history notes before i go 2 kl...have to study while i can...till then....ill b cleaning my room and heading to kl...n yeah, history! ;)