this is me

this is me...all that i am...all that ill ever be..ok minus the last part...coz the future is still undetermined...;) i guess its time to show ppl who i am...n stop being afraid to do so...singing is one thing...cant really say how i feel abt that...but it did make me real happy...n i won stuff...so thats kinda cool...whch reminds me...i miss chinese...speaking, writing, reading...i mean theres ppl i speak to in the language but nt as often as i did in secondary school..so yeah...n then, i realized that i want a hug...haha...random thought...k la..not just that...plus i realized i rarely get affectionate...with frens i mean...bf's ok...i dont hug my frens...i just dont get into the whole body contact stuff i guess...except some..so thats kinda weird..so i was wondering as to why it is so...n couldnt come up with a rational explanation...i mean its just a hug rite? its comforting...if even me...( kinda strong and rarely fall apart, in front of ppl anyways)....need a hug every now and then...why cant i do it for ppl casually? and then i realized that theres this certain person in my life who i havent let go of...i can say i have...but when i asked myself...i realized i havent...proof...if u say uve forgetten someone..maybe its true coz u stopped thinking abt them n stuff...but if ur thinking abt forgetting, doesnt that mean that u havent forgotten abt them ? -coz ur still thinking abt them? so yeah, i wish i could let go...i thot i did...but if i think abt forgetting that person, it clearly means i havent coz im thinking abt forgetting...so what do i do from there on? at times i feel so lost...wish i had direction...at one point i did...maybe things are suposed to be like this...u cant be sure of everything rite? there are things u have to figure out on ur own...no matter how long it takes....so maybe not all things are that predictable...life certainly isnt...take it in, day by day..no matter how hard it may be!