sundays...

yeah, its sunday...back to coll 2morro...2nd sem starts on the 2nd...cant wait actually...should me more relaxing than the 1st....or well, im hoping...but doubt it...get to meet my new roomie..get my results...give back my passport...hmm...haha...sounds like there are loads of stuff on the agenda...anyways...im getting so hooked on one tree hill...seen a few seasons before...but just interests me...how complicated things get...but yet there is still hope...and things do turn around...some for the better but some for the worst...on some days i feel like im moving slightly closer to my dreams but on other days i feel like im being dragged further away...maybe its cause of ppl opinions or maybe it just happens 2 b this way...i just guess it has something 2 do with the fact that i was so uncertain in the beginning..not bcoz i didnt know what i wanted, i always knew what i wanted..but just coz of how ppl would react to my decisions...sometimes its hard...coz u'll jst always feel like ur in the background...and tht ppl dont let you b who u should be, but instead, they tell u who u should be...i think the best piece of advice when it feels like its all falling apart....never lose faith, stay strong n true to who u really are...

America's next top model (ANTM)...{transgender contestant}

Is America ready for a transgender top model?

Isis, 22, is "America's Next Top Model's" first transgender contestant. (ABC News)

Tyra Banks seems to think so -- or at least, she seems to think that a transgender model ought to be able to strut, pose and vogue alongside female hopefuls in a bid to prove she's the next big thing.
Banks' show "America's Next Top Model" will debut Isis, its first transgender contestant, when it begins its 11th season Sept. 3. It's a progressive move for a network reality series, but pushing the envelope, in the modeling realm and on TV, has become the MO of "ANTM": The show has cast multiple gay contestants, and last season crowned a plus-size model as its winner.
"We want to redefine what beauty is," said executive producer Ken Mok. "You can be tall, you can be short, you can be plus size, you can be transgender; you don't have to be what the modeling industry says you have to be. That was one of Tyra's original missions."

P.S. I love you

i always wanted to watch this...from the start when it wasnt even released...but never got 2 it...=(...so then i dcided...since its the hols..mite as well do stuff i wanted 2 do but never did....so i got my hands on this movie...it was released sometime around valentines...a real love story..and those of you who havent watched this yet, dont hesitate to! if u are into the whole romance thing, etc...u'll def. find that u love this flick...it was abt this lady Holly who was married to an average guy jerry...hes from ireland...she met him while on a coll trip there...they got married when she was 19...and 9 years later still havent had any children...her xcuse is that she isnt ready 4 kids...they cant even support themselves...they arent rich, they quarrel, but they are still deeply in love..sadly...jerry dies...he has a tumor...holly just never gets over it...so on her 30th b-day she gets a cake and a recording...jerry did it 4 her...coz he knew he wouldnt b around much longer and so he planned ahead...in the recording he said tht she will b receiving letters...tht tell her to perform a specific task..she followed them and awaited the arrival of each letter...the tasks included going out, karaoke...and a trip with her gal pals..along the journey she realizes that all the tasks are those tht are related to him...things she did with him and only made her remember him much more...she got angry at him...thinking tht hes only making this harder for her...but in the end she realizes that he just wants her to let go...fall in love again..as his life may have ended but hers is still at its beginning...she still has a long ways to go...she visits his family and lastly her mother..and she sleeps with william...jerry's fren while vacationing in ireland...and later on with a fren...(thinks that she loves him)...but then they both realize that frens is all they will ever be...in the last letter...it tells her that she wil b ok..and tht his guidance has come to an end...and even she (holly) feels that jerry's pressence is no longer with her...but yet shes happy...finally lets go slightly...but he wil always be in her heart...as they say, we should be thankful for the opportunities and xperiences we've had with ppl....and not get upset that it ended...ok yeah, we'll b devasted when things dont go our way...but just b happy that you once had tht person in your life...life goes on...just let things happen as they do and will...dont put a stop to anything!!! =)

being a sick romantic and the whole lovesick feeling..

just thought i would rite abt this...i have left the whole blog unattended...at a certain point, idk...felt like sumthins still stay personal...whether u like it to or nt...deep down everyone struggles...its more of how u handle stuff and carry on...how u pick urself up each time u fall and how fast u do it...anyhow, it varies for different ppl...some ppl find comfort in talkin abt their problems whereas some ppl r fine just keepin it all to themselves...it differs...sick romantics...i dunno...many a times, i feel like i am one...i can say i give up on love...give up on the whole idea of it...or just dont wanna think abt it...but i still do...i say i've let go of the person...left all the feelings behind...yet i havent...i can fake it and fool myself into thinking tht i can lie to myself and eventually it will just go away..and i wil move on with things..but how fast does that work? i feel like noone has the answer to this...loads of times..i feel like i can relate to certain characters in tv series n stuff...i dont know if thts naive...but i just feel that it does relate...on one way or another...i could use many ways to explain this, but ill stick to one...one tree hill...haley and nate hit it off real early...nate helps her find her happy place...n tht is with her music...she later figures out tht she cant find it without being with him...he still loves her but cant go on with the relationship...he stays mad and feels like he cant 4give her coz he cant trust her...doesnt know when he will b able to look past it...haley feels terrible...aggitated at the same time...coz she tries to regain his trust...but it just doesnt work...he loves her but just doesnt know if shes back for good and if he can trust her...so yea, two ppl who hav problems...are mad at each other...but yet, they know they love each other...just a matter of time...and they will never drift too far apart...maybe its a matter of how u feel...that feeling you get when its the right person ( at least feels right at first )....u can tell someone abt it but yet they tell u ur being stupid...but just the little things tht make it feel real...and sometimes u feel certain things are signs...like when ur abt to think tht the person just doesnt care, he/she actually does...or there are the times when u focus on it soooo much yet u arent sure whether anythin will happen...and lastly, the times when u feel the person feels otherwise, but...if they wanted to be with u...u'd totally go 4 the opportunity without a thought...the feeling of nt knowing ur circumstances...not knowing what to expect..so well...thts love...thts life...we may feel we have answers...we may feel like experience just might bring us one step closer to unlocking tht uncertainty...and so if one of us does, we could help those who never even let that thought cross their minds...but i seriously feel like nobody is ever gonna figure that out...its just a matter of finding the right person...tht person who lets u be u...n not tht other person u wish u were...just YOU...

Love and Life

love and life? two totally different things, yet in ways they are similar...think abt this...wat is love without life? what is life without love? its like they both intertwine and are related in one way or another...always cherish every opportunity that is given to you...as they say 'the gift of life is life alone'!

1st sem break!

the 1st sem break seems like a big deal...its like i was waiting 4 it the most....during finals....haha...just seemd like ahhh i need a break n now i hav it...but just thnking abt hw fast one semester went by...then ill be in my 2nd....n it will just go on n on...n soon ill b off 2 the US...a good fren of mine..is already in the US..she left yesterday..kinda sad...getting close 2 sum1 n the next sem they r already gone and ull probably never see them again...but thts just life...ppl walk in and out of our lives whether we like it or nt...its just gonna happen anyways...n espc when ur in a transfer prog n know that ppl could b leaving u anytime n ull keep continuing to make new frens...n the ppl around u are gonna keep changing as well...im gona have a new roomie next sem....cant wait! actually real excited to see how it goes this time around...i guess the last xperience toughened me up...=)...hopefully gonna go out with frens from my hometown this coming weekend...although...plans are going nowhere...they want weekends i want weekdays...i say ok 2 weekends n yet we still arent sure! neways...the hols needs sum spice! ;) 2 weeks is an awfully long time...n yeah, hoping to get my drivers license by the time the hols end...hopfuly tht goes well...=)...

emptiness

im not talkin abt smthn missing in my life...nothing close 2 that...but well...in a way...its a person..who's gone...never thot it'd feel this weird...my roomate left 2day...i was like waiting 4 this moment but yea as usual din make much of a diff..so i moved all my stuff by the window...want the view, ac, etc...n the side where i was previously on echoes...so yeah, thts weird...n she took practically everythin! even the hot pot! haha...so like i have to walk all the way to the pantry (right in front of my room)..haha...i can have two desks n stuff....jst 4 a day anyways...just enjoying it...can jump on the bed...awesome! i can put my stuff anywhere i want...choose drawers etc...n my new roomie just has 2 live with it...kinda mean but yea...thts just the way it is....just 1 last paper..then hols!!! ahhhh....cant wait..gonna b great in a way...frens planned outings n stuff..so hopefully tht works...get to see my family..havent been home 4 abt a month..so yeah, slightly homesick...cant blieve one semester went by this fast...like in a blink of an eye...n took me long enough to adapt...but it finally feels good...=)...shopping! movies! late nights! (well, i get enough of those while im here)...no studying! (just the 2 weeks) frens!......dunno how switchfoot relates to these moments but yeah...haha...easier than love, politicians, we are one tonight...n i need good music...haha...feel like im so behind on things...movies...shows....TV....TV.....something i barely get here but yeah...looking 4ward 2 all these small things...n maybe gettin a lil bit more spoilt in the process!....;)...gossip girl, ugly betty, private practice...here i come!

yet another day

woke up quite late...no exam 2day...but yeah, calculus 2morro..so thts what ill be doing the whole day...thot i get to go home as soon as exams are done..but no....my parents r like 'u stay there till she goes, the rearrange the room'....gosh....so ill b here till sunday...just great...had corn flakes for bfast...urghhh...thx 2 me finishing al the post cereal n im heading home 2 good food anyways...then there are two bdays while im goin home...one of a best fren n the other my brother's...still havent got them anythin! then my dad's grad gift..so much 4 my shopping spree! =(...neways....dying 4 exams 2 get done...it was weird coz we thought tht a short sem means more free time, etc...but nope...actually worst than a long sem...have 2 subs...history and music app....so yeah, hopefully all goes well...2 weeks of being at home...sounds good...just have to plan stuff 2 keep myself occupied...i want a getaway! so wish i would be going somewhere but dont think i will be this time around coz i have to get my drivers license n stuff, etc....ahhhhh....just realy gets to you when u are the only one studying and every1 else is on break already or are going out n stuff...just annoys me....

7 things

miley cyrus...haha...i know...but at the time..just felt like i could relate to this song...

I probably shouldn't say this But at times I get so scared When I think about the previous Relationship we shared It was awesome, but we lost it It's not possible for me not to care And now we're standing in the rain But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear My dear The seven things I hate about you The seven things I hate about you Oooh you You're vain Your games You're insecure You love me, you like her You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy Your friends, they're jerks when you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you It's awkward and silent As I wait for you to say What I need to hear now Your sincere apology When you mean it I'll believe it If you text it I'll delete it Let's be clear Oh, I'm not comin' back You're taking seven steps here The seven things I hate about you You're vain Your games You're insecure You love me, you like her You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy Your friends, they're jerks when you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you And compared to all the great things That would take too long to write I probably should mention The seven that I like The seven things I like about you Your hair Your eyes Your old Levi's When we kiss, I'm hypnotized You made me laugh, you made me cry, but I guess that's both I'll have to buy Your hand in mine when we're intertwined, everything's alright I wanna be with the one I know And the seventh thing I like the most that you do You make me love you

L.O.V.E

love..the best feelin in the world..well, when stuff go ur way...but yeah, its something tht every1 wants to feel..u can say ur sick n tired of the feeling or that u dont blieve in it...but who can say they dont wanna xperience it? the way i would put it...the best yet worst feeling u could have...best when u feel like ur on top of the world n nuthin else matters but u and tht other person...the worst when things get real messed up n u just wish the floor would open up and swallow u whole...'its all for the best'....this is what i said a few days ago...is it actually applicable? i dont know...coz as a fren of mine said...u'll never know wat is best...maybe hes right...u can say and pretend like you dont care n sumtimes u still do...the feeling is uncontrollable...the love feeling...the one that makes ur heart beat faster and slower at the same time, the flips, the butterflies...the burning feeling...(if ur a blusher)...;)...haha...but yeah...LOVE...amazing feeling...i think tht we shouldnt hold on so tight..learn to accept things and most importantly accept ppl as they are...dont xpect more from them....u'd rather them being themselves than being the person they wanna be...love person 4 them n for no other reasons...theres a quote tht goes like this....'if u want something, let go; if it comes back to you, then it is yours'.......i thought abt this...4 ahwle...n yeah, it is true...u have to wait 4 things tht ur sure will have an outcome...not meanin u cant want other things..just that...why hang around and waste time on someone who will never appreciate you? at a certain point, you may feel like giving out, feel helpless and feel like nothing is ever gonna go ur way..dont turn ur back on those who actually care...there is a certain life plan n the way ur life will unfold...so always have faith...n know that someday u will get what u deserve...just dont stray away..dont give up on love; no matter how many times it turns its back on you...just remain strong...frens are still there..the ones who are insane yet thts why u love them...they love u for you...n u will never have to worry tht they r gna give up on u...coz they love u for u...always did and always will! =)

some interesting love quotes; enjoy! ;) im def. a sick romantic....obvs. rite? =) hahah.....

Love in the movies:Boy loves girl, girl loves boy, live happily ever after.Love in reality:Boy loves girl, girl loves boy, fight, broken hearts...

I wake up feeling bluei role over and see youalmost straight awayi feel a smile creepingonto my faceI love you xoxo

"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before."

"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."

If it is meant to be, our hearts will find each other when we meet. And if our hearts melt together so will our bodies and souls. Then every word and every touch will fuel our passion flame. I will be yours, you will be mine, and we will be one."

"Never question if you are in love or not, because if you were you wouldn't need to ask."

"You fail to see the one who loves you standing right in front as does she fail to see you love her in turn. Don't wait to tell her, because it might be to late then."

"It is better to go for someone who loves you, rather than someone who you love."

"What is more important to you the love you share, the memories you have or the lover? Give love a chance to swallow you up. Don't just think it will happen in a instant, it will suprise you before you know it, but it will be the most rewarding experience you will ever have."

to be with someone who looks into your face, when you've gotten old, and still sees what you think you look like.The Bachelor

You are the only person that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.The Hot Chick

La vita e bella; la vita e amore.-- Life is beautiful; life is love.Life Is Beautiful

Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you will become.My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Truth is, I gave my heart away along time ago,my whole heart, and I never really got it back.Sweet Home Alabama

Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.~Plato

The best smell in the worldis that man that you love.~Jennifer Aniston

They Say LoveHides Behind Every Corner, I Must Be Walking In Circles.

There are only four questions of value in life.What is sacred?Of what is the spirit made of?What is worth living for?What is worth dying for?The answer to each is the same. Only love.- Don Juan Demarco

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.- Movie love quote: When Harry Met Sally

You can't express every feeling that you have every moment that you have them.- When Harry Met Sally

If the people we love are stolen from us,The way to have them live on, is to remember them.Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever.- Movie love quotes - The Crow

of boredom and studying...

its impossible to be bored rite? when finals are goin on...but blieve me, it is possible...whether u admit it or not..or mayb its coz i dont hav any subs 2morro...but ah well....its just tht im so tensed...i dont know...n it happened early...like a couple of weeks before..n is lasting up until today...cant wait to get done with my last subject....n the last sub is calculus!!! to make things more interestin...every1's already on break! ok, mayb a bit of an exagerration but most of my frens are...all done and going home...n yeah, their hols hav already begun...yet im still here studying like crazy...n it is affecting me...making me weirder than weird...it is...unbelievable in a way but yet so true.....n its so obvious tht im stressed out...whch worsens situations....updates on this side, still stuck in coll...the place seems so empty...it does...frens who act weird...saying im troubled? haha...but im so not...just the insane things tht go on here....insane ppl....like u could b sitting outside at 3am...n the next day, ppl go 'ahhh, yesterday u were with this person sitting where'...its insane...complain abt me, but yeah they are out at the same time...then sudden screamin...can make u scared....haaha....the block i stay in is so quiet...its good yet lacks life...i cant go downstairs in peace...at least not without sum random person chattin me up...'how ill miss u during the hols'....hahah...yeah well...thts just how it goes....inti is boring otherwise...but its these things tht keep me alive...the stuff tht happens...tht just makes u laugh..n laugh...n laugh...i cant wait to go home!!! been stuck here for 3 weeks...need a break...from studying...from coll food...(honestly havent adapted to the food)....n looking 4ward 2 the 2nd sem...hopefully much better than the 1st...im sure it will be...with the insane ppl i hav around me...but yeah, i love them to bits!