dont you agree that these are two very powerful words? i think so...some people can say it easily, words do come easy...but for the remaining, we only use these words when we are sure we feel it...in this case, count me as one of them...even when i feel it i dont say it...i have to be sure...its not that i dont trust how i feel...or well -- emotions...its just that sometimes you can get so caught up in the moment...you may say stuff and then you cant take it back...then there are the times when you feel like saying something, or asking about something...yet you hold back...fear holds you back..ive done that way too many times...and im not anymore...sometimes people get on you for saying stuff and not actually doing it...ive done that quite a few times...im trying, but havent gone all the way with it...once people know, i guess theres pressure into actually doing it...yet its good that people know -- gives you that push you need....i honestly think im starting to be happier...and stronger...its good...just sometimes wish it kicked in a little faster! ive been reflecting and stuff...thinking about the past, present and planning for the future...i mean i have goals and stuff...but i used to be afraid..even to think of it ( the future )...thinking that if i yearn for something and it doesnt happen, i will be crushed..maybe its ok...if it doesnt go as planned...you'll get other things that will make it worthwhile...and im so grateful..for all the wonderful people around me...i finally feel like me again.,.entirely...and im keeping it that way...4 months and im still very much in love...its insane how certain things surprise you...everyone has those bad days, yet its still strong...havent gone steady for awhile...and i actually like it...people will be surprised by that, but who cares...haha...what isnt fair to him, i havent been there entirely...for awhile i thought maybe it was time and space that i should give him...i THOUGHT....i guess its wrong to make assumptions...sometimes you just follow your heart...no matter how wrong the choice seems....i shall continue to fight my fears....i have no idea when the optimism kicked in, but i guess its all good :)...i suddenly feel like im on top of the world!
back to coll tomorrow...the week flew by so fast...but i guess im ready to go back...routines...the people =)
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