broken-hearted girl?

nope, im not upset...im not broken hearted...ok well, maybe i am.,..but in a totally different sense...it took me so long to write...just yesterday i was like...yes i have something to write about...but when i opened the window; i couldnt...reason being- i didnt wanna reveal too much...maybe its time to let it go..so anyways...ill thank the reason...my boyfriend...a night with him made realize that theres really no point worrying about unnecessary things..things that you arent even that sure of in the first place....and i realized that i wouldnt trade that love...for anything else...you may think its just me being emo as usual...maybe it is...or maybe its the realizations thats knocking some sense in to me....so whats new on this end? the work load is killing me...facing some small issues...but not gonna get into that...getting very annoyed at some of my friends...and right now...i feel so dazed and i dont even know why..sorta like im just floating and i have no idea what im doing...im soooooo excited for prom :)....

just a brief insight.

why just why havent you seen me updating lately? and yes, of course there are reasons...which im not getting into...i just cant get myself to put those thoughts into words...plus maybe at times its better to just leave the past behind...cause it may come back to haunt you nonetheless...so why ask for it? what sorta mood am i in right now? i feel like im loved; at times probably so much more than i deserve....i have so much; more than i need...so why do i complain? its just how human nature is...we love the word MORE...so if so, im one of the fortunate ones...one who has more than others...i sometimes feel like the whole cycle is messed up...like some have so much...yet some have little...some have close to nothing...but thats that...thats how it is...lately, i've realized how much more i want certain things...the things i want...those things i yearn for; scares me...probably more than anything else right now. sorta insane- believe me. so whats been happening lately? whole lotta drama; i mean whats new? then lots and lots of work...tests...have another one this week...sometimes i just feel like giving up...get myself all stressed up...over these things...so then ive been hating inti this weekend...taking over our bathrooms for camp children...then having no water in the morning ( i have panicking; had class at 10! )...and then my AC isnt working...utter crap...im soooo annoyed...cause i find it hard to sleep without aircond...maybe i deserve this...maybe its a lesson of some sort; god i dont know...just have to manage...ahhhhhhh!!!!!!

leaving things behind.

it just suddenly hit me; how much things ive left behind...recently, ive been neglecting so much..friends, family, etc....mainly cause of the -work load....maybe its high time i admit it...things just arent the same and probably wont be for a real long time...as usual...had a test...it went surprisingly well...got some marks back...im satisfied...at least the locking myself in the room is bringing some good...lately i feel like im on emotional roller coaster...like all of a sudden everythings ok; next thing you know, im acting like the world is tumbling down....but in a way, im happy with the changes...i mean you cant expect things to always be the same right? the other issue ive come across is that hardly anyone understands me; understands me for me...it sucks really...but at least there are those who do...and nothing will change the way they feel about me...and for that im glad. on a heavier note, i have my bio test next week...and i wouldnt be freaking out sooooo much if it werent 20%....things at coll have been slow..its like...the week starts out and before you know it; its friday again...i wish time would take a stand still...maybe i want that more than anything right now. to have a little more time. cause its caving in; things are happening way too fast...