finals and all the in betweens

finals are coming up...soooooo fast...mine start on the 3rd; which leaves me approximately a week to cram everything in...:(...been more stressed,tired and sick than anything else...yet i still find solace in the smallest things...maybe this is when you realize, that no matter what life gives you or throws at you; life goes on. the world still goes round...even when you break down and feel that theres absolutely no way out! lately i have been feeling alot of this...tensed as hell...weird thoughts...scary dreams...things happening...makes it so hard to keep hold and grasp what is most important...so all i wanna do now, is keep everything on track...and not lose it just yet. some pretty interesting things happened over this week...being terrified over the dumbest thing...witnessing a fight; actually made me think of other things too...had fun with friends...laughed so much :)....which makes me wonder...how come its so hard to feel good at times, at other times so easy...? but its never hard to feel bad? that comes without demand...but in the end, i guess everyone has their fair share of ups and down...so its unfair to feel like life is unfair...but in reality it really is...just not the way you think it is...does that make any sense? even if it doesnt; it sounds about right..plus im not gonna ponder on that right now....its friday night...friday night lights....i love fridays...the fact that the weekend is here; its comforting...but on the other hand, with finals coming up--- i need all the time i can get!

all about the 9's

so yes, 9 month anniversary yesterday....this is for you :)

<3

She was lost in so many different ways
Out in the darkness with no guide
I know the cost of a losing hand
Never thought the grace of God go high
I found heaven on earth
You were my last, my first
And then I hear this voice inside
Ave Maria
I've been alone
When I'm surrounded by friends
How could the silence be so loud
But I still go home knowing that
I've got you
There's us when the lights go down
You are my heaven on earth
You are my hunger, my thirst
I always hear this voice inside
Singing Ave Maria
Sometimes love can come and pass you by
While your busy making plans
Suddenly hit you and then you realize
It's out of your hands, baby you got to understand
You are my heaven on earth
You are my last, my first
And then I hear this voice inside
Ave Maria
Ave Maria
Ave Maria

the return.

is it safe to say that thats the end of the emo posts? gosh, i dont know...guess its too soon to say...so much has been happening...much more than i am capable of handling....the work load has been killing me..you know how sometimes you feel you can do anything? and sometimes everything seems sorta impossible? ive been alternating between the two; a bit too much...i guess some people just dont work well under pressure, no matter how hard they may try...fall into depression so much, fall sick...sometimes i get so sick and tired of it all....wish that for once in my life i could just pause or say "stop!"....but we all know that isnt gonna happen...either give up or try your best to move on....and again; i feel so apologetic...to certain people...for not being there...probably cause at those brief moments, i wasnt even there for myself...that makes sense doesnt it?

prom was fun...had a blast...it was everything i imagined it to be and more...que the mushiness...i mean we all knew it was coming right? it would have been wonderful anyways, cause of him :)..so maybe i didnt get my flowers...and maybe i still bring it up oh so constantly, but it was wonderful altogether! and now what im trying to work on more than anything- trying not to be so helpless....doesnt mean that i give up too fast, just that i tend to lose my sense of direction; abit too easily...then its so hard to regain that strength..

besides all that, the sem is slowly coming to an end...time flies...seriously..advance enrollment is tomorrow...im still deciding on subjects...have tests coming up yet again this week...hopefully dont fall sick along the way...then another short sem...i hate short sems, so hopefully it turns out much better this time around since i know what its like...then yeah- FINALS....the word that throws shivers down your spine...but whatever....im hoping to go watch harry potter this week....on the release date...not because im still a die hard fan, im sure i diverted....but cause i read all the books...and eventhough it gets worse along the way..i told myself i'd continue to watch...cause im not stopping halfway! haha..way for an excuse ;)

so anyways...i gotta get to the studying..constant studying..even over the weekends + friday night...the thought makes me sick...but not like im left with any other choice!

have a nice week and till i write again, bubbye :)