assessments?

for some reason i feel the title looks very odd...idk...just this thing with words...its only after doing academic writing do i realize how many words i still dont know how to spell...not exactly that; more to me being unsure about the spelling...i have no idea where everyone is today...planned on going to church; felt sick...so i stayed back...and the people i want to talk to dont seem to be online..i text and get no replies, i msg them on msn and get no replies...seriously feel weird about the whole thing...have yet another assessment tomorrow...english...tend to feel like theres always a test; which is true...no doubt...another 10%...seem to be doing reasonably good and thats what makes me feel satisfied...for once :)....believe it or not i have hw...but it isnt due yet...he gave us like 2 weeks to do it...sorta putting it off...not a good thing...but seriously not in the mood to do it...i remember having this weird dream last night...i wish i could remember what it was about though...

life.

first of all - updates...the whole thing about not being able to see the person you want to...dad sorta blew that out of proportion....not gonna get into the whole thing and not gonna share my decision...haha...this week has been so hectic...never ending research, assignments, homework...and test...the test turned out pretty well...i think im gonna do great...research is fun...just rather tedious at times....

my topic...life...lately ive been thinking about...love and life...i mean each one is not associated to the other...love...i never got enough of it...and no i most definetely am not talking about the current relationship but previous relationships....i somehow used to feel like i gave it my all; yet got so little in return...now its all just very different..its like every little thing surprises me....and even the smallest things touch my life in like the biggest ways...how i always tend to get emotional; but control it...but yeah...overall amazing...then life...im trying to figure out certain things...like do you think our life line is already determined...? like...how long each person has to live...which varies among people...or would it make more sense if we all were given the exact same time line initially...but its those small things we get ourselves into...the things we do...all the things we ask for and bring to ourselves...so from there each persons bad habits deducts a certain percentage of their life line? or is it something else? idk...

latest read : confessions of a shopaholic...just the right book for me...and of a related topic...haha...its something you wont wana put down...if ur into the whole shopping, love thing...(excessive spending)...

latest watch: bride wars...it was real good...funny yet sad...certain parts did get to me...the girl beside me was sobbing...i mean it wasnt that sad...i wanna watch new in town too...and cant wait for marley and me, confessions of a shopaholic...read the book already...cant wait for 90210!!! next week are the new episodes :) :)....

latest...song?...ok, something i really like ;) :...beyonce's 'halo'....i have been listening to it non-stop...still not sick of it...somehow i feel like it relfects...ive been trying to find people who actually like it...my friends think its too mellow..it isnt...

so thats that for now...gonna stay out tonight..havent been out much this whole week...been so occupied with work and stuff...tired, but havent napped...haha...so yeah...friday night; here i come! ;)

telling you what to and not to do

i hate it...really...my dad is telling me who to not be friends with...we've been friends for 10 years....how do you push someone who has been in your life for so long away like that? instantly....this has been on my mind...like the whole weekend...and still...lately ive been getting so emotional so it gets harder...right now im distracting myself; when i cant seem to handle stuff...when i feel like giving up and it all seems like way too much :(...arghhhh.....i really wish i didnt feel this way...

home sweet home

when you're away from home, dorm rooms are considered as your 'home'...or well to a certain extent at least your 'second home'...ive gotten pretty comfortable here...i mean i barely go home anymore..maybe thats why...so i barely mind it...campus life is fun...i mean its not like nilai has so much to offer; but its not that bad...i enjoy the freedom, people, etc....living on your own and all that, independence...is nice too....tend to feel responsible for yourself....of course, you're not exempted from the drama that surrounds you...what does this have to do with anything really? its just that, i havent been home in almost a month....and im headed home today...for a day...kinda insane i know...why not the whole weekend? i seriously dont know...so yeah...will have to visit my grandparents, spend time with my family etc...should be cool..i know time is gonna fly! and my bed...ahhhhh---heaven :)

reviews

im stuck doing my 'review of literature' for my research report..my topic being 'teen pregnancy'....quite interesting actually...then i have my webpage design assgn....gosh...whole lot of work...then tests and mid-terms and all that other stuff...definetely not forgetting the drama...sometimes i just dont understand how certain people think..and then i feel some are way too dependent on other people...im surprising myself nowadays....realize im quite strong on my own and im ok with the hard work....im actually re-typing everything for my review of literature...meaning- absolutely no plagiarism...haha...impressive i know..did that for my csc assgn too..haha...what exactly have i been up to these days? quite abit...and ive been having sleeping issues....its disturbing...i sorta half sleep walk- bang into the wall...have insane dreams...then as usual; try to interpret them...but fail....i guess theres just some things you'll never understand...right now i have my study companion- nescafe...gosh i think i DO have an addiction to coffee....just keeps me going...i have 3 more sources to go....probably heading to kl tomorrow...just to relax abit...then continue all my hw...then going home on saturday...for a day! havent been home in weeks...but i think its about time i do...do i miss home? honestly, i dont know anymore...somehow just adjusting to it...im still listening to david cook's permanent....i can listen to it over and over again yet not get sick of it...then i watched abit of AI today...theres this one guy who has great potential...so whats on the coll. calender? i think they had this 'snacks and ladders' thing today...idk...i thought it was like the board game or something..guess i was wrong...heard its some 'obstacle' like thing...whatever that means ( description by a friend; not me ).....then theres orientation day next week...crowning of mr and ms inti...i feel it is so over-rated...shall get to that if i can relate a topic to that....then theres cultural night in march...alot is happening...days are going by so fast...its like you feel the week has just begun; and its almost the weekend...ive been getting hooked on bowling on fb...and ive tried twitter..dont exactly get the whole point - YET.

loving ourselves before anyone else

i mean we always blindly say yes we do love ourselves...in ways yeah, we are selfish..and we tend to care more about ourselves way before anyone or anything else...what about those who put others way before themselves? in the hopes that by being there; the reward is greater...how often do we play mind games...thinking that if we do a certain thing, we will be rewarded...just how frequently do you not expect anything in return? i mean seriously, is it that much to ask for? but i guess that is the key to love..love yourself...know you...before committing to someone else...how can you try to understand someone else if you dont even understand you? alot of interesting things have been happening..for starters my whole v day thing...was out the whole day...got wished by random stranger..and there have been groups of people bothering me; gets kinda insane...then stuff with my roomie...my friends...everything that has to do with assgns, tests, etc...overall it has been great...just that i was real sick on sunday...maybe just maybe it was exhaustion...i realize i tend to go on and on about love...and well--my relationship...im gonna stop emphasizing on that so much...and relate stuff to topics...but not out right talk about it...or well, not so blatantly...

onto the next subject...body peace...
guys and girls alike...
how confident are you in your own skin? do you find yourself being so self conscious at times it drives you absolutely insane? its about time you let go...just love you for you...and expect nothing more...everything is special and unique in their own way...and thats why we are different...today my professor said something...and its probably something we should all keep in mind...live everyday like its ur first and last...:)

valentines day...its here!

first of all, happy valentines day! ive had the best beginning, EVER...or well, till now...hahahha...then i have to be up by 9 or so...its insane...going to the theme park...then sungei wang plaza...SHOPPING!....hope all of you out there have an amazing v day...and one of my friends was actually depressed...reason being he had noone to spend the day with...and so he got all desperate and wanted to get that girl to be his gf by v day...just so he wont be 'mr.lonely'....now why do we go to these extents? i mean im not single this v day so u cant use that against me...even if i were alone...and i was alone so many v days...we still had fun...i mean u can do a singles thing...love yourself...:)