resolution for 09'

i know..the whole pointless resolution thing..but im not coming up with my usual list of stuff that i always forget when the year ends...and probably have barely achieved...i put serious thought into this and came up with something...so here...my resolution for 09' : push the limits.

combination...

ok...so i think it'll be much easier if i write whatever i've been dying to write..so all the topics i included in the coming soon section...before i start off, i'd like to wish everyone a happy new year 09'!...as usual, i was thinking about resolutions and all that, then heard this segment on the radio...and realized that yeah, most of the time...our resolutions are pointless...'pointless resolutions'...and they had this 5 step guide on how you CAN achieve those resolutions of yours...and of course that included having a few resolutions...not that huge list ( i always have like 10 or so..so i guess i messed it up right there)...then theres the 'setting low goals, so that yes...its easier to achieve them...haha..so then i guess...you can say you've accomplished something...first thought that crosses my mind when i hear that : its cheating...if u set low goals, i dont see the point...cause none or less effort is needed...maybe 09' has made me wiser...haha...thats sorta ridiculous...seeing as how its only the 1st right now...ok so maybe, 08' made me a better person...it definetely was a roller coaster ride...all the tears shed, the laughter, the new beginnings and endings, feeling lost and somehow finding myself again...at the end of the year, someone asked me "do you have any regrets?"...i asked him why he asked me this...and he was saying hes just wondering...i said no...i mean some things got really messed up and of course i'd hope that i would have realized certain things a whole lot sooner, either way i got to where i am because of those choices and mistakes...and i learned from them...so i guess for that, im grateful...im thankful for all the realizations...like how i have nothing to prove to anyone...and should believe in myself...im also really grateful for all the people that came into my life this past year...so when people say ' a person that can change your life'...i believe them...im happy that i have all the people who are in my life...family, friends, my boyfriend...the people who never gave up on me and were always there when i needed it the most....as usual my xmas 08' was just a family affair...it was nice altogether...and new years was awesome...firework show, family and friends...and gosh, all the drama...not that im complaining...if i didnt have that, i have no idea where the inspiration would come from...the times i fell, felt vulnerable, eventually got it all together again...and the things i thought i'd never do in my life...i sing but barely in front of anyone..so those karaoke days...and the bowling days...were all so much fun :)...the gatherings, the outings ( movies, etc)....and the more drinking...the paranoia plus the embaressing stories...but nvm that, save me the torture...still gonna hear about that...my bf got me to do it...and of course, all the fear and stuff was stil there...till i realized it was all ok...the remembering of talking about loads of stuff....but when i think about it, i have no idea what it was...like really...then there are my insane dreams...classes start in a few days...moving back in the dorm...that should be interesting...my downgrade of a room...but im ready for it...i have no idea when this new found confidence and assurance came in, but im loving it...so have a blessed new years, cheers!

*coming soon*

--just being you
--the hols
--xmas
--new 'new years resolutions'
and many more..whatever that is in between...

how much can one miss?

its not about missing chances...or well it could be...i just thought of that...more of how much you can miss someone...till you cant even think about them, cause you miss them so much...and theres nothing you can do...you can talk all day or all night...yet feel you arent close enough...you just wanna be with the person so badly...i guess its ok to feel it at times...then you appreciate the person that much more...about chances, opportunities or whatever we may refer to them as....life is what you make it...sometimes you just have to go against all those fears...if you dont, you will never know of what could have been....just look at it this way :one chance to live, once chance to do all those things you've been dying to try, one wrong turn and u may not have that chance again...so maybe its about time you embrace each and every opportunity...do the best that you can...potential is there...have faith...faith is all we need...they say some people are destined for greatness or popularity...just how some people look at it...strive for what you want, learn from those mistakes and never give up!

i miss so many people...im thinking about all the experiences...truly...PRECIOUS

resolutions*

since its all coming to an end, the year i mean...its about time i straighten all that out...figure out what my resolutions are gonna be...and reflect...figure out if i achieved any of the resolutions i made this year...i tend to do this...make resolutions, yet have no idea what they are once the year ends...so this time, i want it to be different...i need to know what resolutions i made...and if i achieved any of them....

*resolutions for '09*

christmas cheer

im not even in it myself...or well not yet...comes across as stressful to me...i dont even know why...just so much to do in so little time...christmas pictures, parties, programs...all squeezed together in one week...yet my heart aches...nothing to do with xmas but it does...and then you tend to realize that some things will be like that - unbearable...was just thinking about how neglected the posts are...sometimes just cant get myself to write anything :(...besides the point..so back to the topic...xmas is in a week...i dont feel it just yet...tree is up, all the decorations..some gifts...yet somethings missing..and i have no idea what it is...part of my family is in the mood...wont mention who...i practically jump off my seat each time the phone rings...'jingle bells'...and its so loud...then the xmas jewelry...i dont even have any of that..so its odd...how different each member in the family can be..all about individuality...oh well...thinking about white christmases and stuff like that...at times i feel like i need all of that...but that pulls u so far away from the purpose of it all...it should be a little things that get it all together...makes it special...so yeah, i need to try to be happy about it all...cause its all happening so fast and before i know it, it'll be done...happy holidays!

how love messes with the mind...

It’s me laying here at night
Wanting to hold you tight
Needing to tell you what’s on my mind
Wishing you’d understand
Everything works even better with the touch of your hand
A thousand things cross my mind
All at exactly the same time
I wish you knew
How this time, my feelings grew and grew
Things now are so different
That way you make me feel
I may have made you a better man
But you’ve made me all that I possibly can
And for that I’ll be forever grateful
Grateful for the way you make me feel
The way you loved me, that way no one ever has
We may argue
Everyone does
Sometimes I feel that’s what makes us stronger
Almost falling apart, and picking up the pieces again and again
And yet I’m still trying
For the first time
I feel like I’m working for it
Striving to keep everything together
No pity, pure admiration not you falling at my feet
That’s not what I need
Maybe all along
This is what I needed
Someone to love me for me
To be there, hold me, protect me
Give me what I need
The sense of direction
Directing me towards greater things
And once again discovering life
Just as it is
Loving me, and not wanting to lose me
I’ve gained that, the confidence I needed
To be sure and handle things as they come
And know that you’re never letting go