sick days

yes ive noticed that recently the titles have been associated to the word 'sick' or 'day'...haha...sorry...just kinda the current mood and too lazy to actually think of stuff! i admitted it, laziness! been sick...fevering n stuff...it really sucks...one minute im freezing cold the next im burning hot...n have like alot on my mind...choices have to be made...hostel arrangements...i hav someone to room with me....but means i hav to change blocks...at first i thought i was ok with that..then realized i may regret the choice so idk...no idea wat i should do...2morro is the last day if i wanna book the same room so yeah...makes things a whole lot more stressful...gonna head out soon...maybe need some fresh air?

sick romantic

me...thats what i am..in love with love..kinda funy dont u think...yet i think its so true...2008 song that describes me...leona lewis-bleeding love...amazing rite? took this quiz thing n thats what i got..which makes u go...just how predictable am i? i had an interesting day but am real sick right now...fevering....just great...class at 8am 2morro...=(...so gotta hit the bed soon...dizzy!!! is it a big deal? if ur that obvious to certain people...idk...all i know is...i want or better said...i NEED some excitement...;)...sunday nights...neways...back to love...when its right its amazing...heard this quote on 'my sassy girl'...that is like a real good romantic comedy..something abt i dont deserve u..and how destiny is what brings two people together...i didnt tear for that movie...PS i love u...i did....a bit...coz it was sad...how vulnerable she was when she lost her husband....but i realized that...the key to pulling urself up...is...believing...believing that it happened for a reason and there may be something better in store..so turn that frown upside down! chin up..=)

bad day

well it started out ok..i slept at 2am...got up at 6...my mom turned my room light on at 6 which got on my nerves...had my cousins confirmation...the sermon n overall went well...then the brunch...food was spicy but i managed...ate watever wasnt..haha...so then i got back at college at 1...cleaned the room....unpacked...came online 4 awhle...then slept...1 hr...dad called...tried 2 go back to sleep, started pouring...i have like this severe headache..head is literally spinning! typing is out...i keep typing the wrong words..n this agitates me as well..back to coll..ok im already AT coll..so back to classes...my monday 8 am...suckish food..but what choice do i have? so then i thought maybe i was hungry, but i didnt feel it...but just ate something...that hasnt helped...still feel dizzy...gosh...dunno wat else 2 do...i doubt i need fresh air...was out half the day...=(...pain is just too much...so 2day i received some compliments...ahha...things i didnt xpect but yeah...then there was so much pregnancy talk...a fear...not gona get in to that...things sorta change after a whle..thinking in that manner...i miss my bed!! haha...im sure coming up with loads of random thoughts...i had a nice week with the queen sized bed, now back to a single...maybe thats y i couldnt sleep! doubt it tho...i seem to have this problem relaxing here...i cant just sleep and not wake up in between...so then i come online...n i get paranoid...feel like somethings abt me but idk...i just shouldnt worry..as it is im dizzy..making situations a whole lot worse...so basically im back at college..i have abt 3 weeks left till finals...then theres the deepavali break...going on a trip to malacca....the whole family..and when i mean whole family, it includes aunt, uncle, cousins, gparents, etc...this is gonna b fun...humiliating people..and putting them in awkward positions...then its the long break...2 months...my 18th...probably gonna get a job..i dont seem 2 b getting everything i want..so maybe time to earn it...plus...id b dead bored as usual..barely anythin to do...bsides bothering frens, beach, swimming n stuff like that...ok...i would like to write more and better yet elaborate on a topic but my head is killing me!!!

thinkers and do-ers

i think i spotted an article on just this before...like how thinkers and doers attract each other, etc...thinkers are like me...think all the time n worry for no apparent reason...u can not worry but u just tend 2 without the realization of doing it! do-ers are those who do stuff...get caught up in the moment...they tend to feel that actions speak louder than words...so yeah....but in this case, they might not care as much as they should...so that may be where the problem lies...as usual, im still the sick romantic that i am deep down..listening to the sex and the city soundtrack...its awesome...like every other word is LOVE...just the way i like it...;)...is it ok to be this obsessed with love? i seriously have no idea...then today this just popped into mind...would i really let a guy make me that vulnerable again? i mean, truthfully i was never one to really care abt all that...if it didnt work, it didnt work...but recent experiences hav proved otherwise...fell so hard...took awhile to pick myself up...but i did...so its ok....then i was wondering as to why it took so much longer...n i got the answer...(flashing lightbulb)...haha...so ok...i know what the reason is...of all the guys...i have reasons to forget them...n this helps me get over them much faster...for example...the guy could have been a jerk, cheated or done something that made me care less...and even if it didnt work out and the guy dumped me, or if it was mutual...i was mad at him...4 watever reason it was...n this time...i may have been upset...but i didnt get mad...was stil holding on to watever hope i still had...but yeah, if its not meant to be, then its just that...not meant to be...so i was watching alot of tv today...one of the shows were breaking up with shannen doherty...sure u have heard of it..so its like u hav probs breaking up with someone...and she helps u out..so it came to a point where this girl was confused abt her sexuality...she thought she liked girls...so shannen slowly hinted this to the guy...he was cool abt it all...he let go...he was with her whenever she needed him...and after a few weeks...she realized she was in love with this guy...and nothing would make her happier..so she wanted him back....n he took her back with an open heart...goes to show that u can be confused abt many things...in the end, u'l get an answer if u try looking for it...whch made me think of the stuff im confused of...faith...believing in certain things....dont know if im good enough in certain cases ( common )...then theres choices...wondering what choices to make n wondering of the choices u HAVE made are the best...whch reminds me...i thought one week would go by pretty slowly..with my lack of hol plans..loads of drama with frens...home...but it flew by...did some interesting things...experienced some interesting things....n its fridays...the weekend...then back to college...mug for finals...OMG...back to reading textbooks...ive been reading alot of external material...books, mags....=)

self advertising

it seems like everyone does it nowadays..so maybe if u didnt blieve this before, u probably do now...sex sells...without a doubt...sum ppl feel like they have to show skin in order to be sexy...but thats so wrong...showing TOO much can appear as slutty...so how do u explain that then? its more of how u feel...u can be all covered but feel sexy...and posted gazillion pics of urself may make u feel beautiful...but does it really? does it matter how people see you? they can feel ur perfect; but are u happy? thts the tricky part...every1 can say good stuff but u may still feel like crap deep down...so its more of an inner peace thing...body peace...how u make urself feel, how u feel; before taking into consideration of what others think...so its ok to have pictures, to keep family updated, but if its for other purposes then maybe u should think abt it...ahhh which reminds me..

self-image
is it important to be stick thin? does it appear as more beautiful? media gets younger girls these days to feel that it is so...but in the process they starve, diet, exercise...over exert their bodies and end up getting sick in the process...so maybe its ok if u arent what people would consider as the perfect size (0)....but once ur comfortable in ur own skin...then u have achieved that perfect size...not to say dont exercise n stuff...but just...do it for the right purposes...if its for fitness...green light =)

this is me

this is me...all that i am...all that ill ever be..ok minus the last part...coz the future is still undetermined...;) i guess its time to show ppl who i am...n stop being afraid to do so...singing is one thing...cant really say how i feel abt that...but it did make me real happy...n i won stuff...so thats kinda cool...whch reminds me...i miss chinese...speaking, writing, reading...i mean theres ppl i speak to in the language but nt as often as i did in secondary school..so yeah...n then, i realized that i want a hug...haha...random thought...k la..not just that...plus i realized i rarely get affectionate...with frens i mean...bf's ok...i dont hug my frens...i just dont get into the whole body contact stuff i guess...except some..so thats kinda weird..so i was wondering as to why it is so...n couldnt come up with a rational explanation...i mean its just a hug rite? its comforting...if even me...( kinda strong and rarely fall apart, in front of ppl anyways)....need a hug every now and then...why cant i do it for ppl casually? and then i realized that theres this certain person in my life who i havent let go of...i can say i have...but when i asked myself...i realized i havent...proof...if u say uve forgetten someone..maybe its true coz u stopped thinking abt them n stuff...but if ur thinking abt forgetting, doesnt that mean that u havent forgotten abt them ? -coz ur still thinking abt them? so yeah, i wish i could let go...i thot i did...but if i think abt forgetting that person, it clearly means i havent coz im thinking abt forgetting...so what do i do from there on? at times i feel so lost...wish i had direction...at one point i did...maybe things are suposed to be like this...u cant be sure of everything rite? there are things u have to figure out on ur own...no matter how long it takes....so maybe not all things are that predictable...life certainly isnt...take it in, day by day..no matter how hard it may be!

hari raya

hmmm...yet another holiday...lately just havent been in the mood 4 anything...n am awfully tired right now, but i had a good day...raya is mainly abt visiting, food and more food! ...wish i travelled but ah well...wait 4 deepavali..family trip..will keep u posted on that ;)....so yeah, went shopping today..didnt really have any1 2 visit...my frens are outta town so no point...teacher is in saudi arabia..so just stuck here at home...bsides going to the cities of course! amazing how everyone LOVES to shop...and i mean it..is it just malaysia? i doubt it...people tend to go insane at the word 'SALE'...or better yet 'MEGA SALE'....of course im not an exeption but yeah...been hooked on reading..i mean i love reading dont get me wrong, but lately i havent had the time...my reading has been my history textbook! but i actually like the subject...i jst did it coz i thought i should knw the stuff, but ended up liking it..so all the better...=)...and i have problems re-reading books...it could be from many years ago...but i just need suprises ( i like the suspense! )....really get hooked on books sometimes...then there are my mags...not gonna go there...i have like a collection..everything from celebrity, fashion and even beauty....trying to get myself to read something more informational...but just tend to go 4 the ones that catch my eye! ;)...n ive been pretty lucky..winning stuff...i mean really...so then my dad tried me at gambling (testing my luck)...but nvm..just weird altogether....i had apple ice cream...i was curious on how it would taste...it was actualy really good...thinking of my 18th...just dont know what i wanna do...maybe the beach coz thats what i like...=)...ah well...heading 4 dinner...no raya food...mayb go visiting 2morro...;)